I can not believe how difficult it is to go without physical/sexual stimulation. It has been all of three days and I am champing at the bit. I was literally turned on last night by a yogurt commercial where a soccer mom was spooning vanilla goodness into her mouth with her children running about. Lord have mercy on me. 

Although I have thought of undertaking this challenge for a couple of months, the events of the past week gave me the final push I needed to take the plunge. I had been seeing a wonderful girl for the better part of two months. Things were going well and we would hang out often at her place making dinners and just enjoying each others company, in and out of bed. As per usual I had this ominous cloud of doubt over my head about my feelings for her. I couldn’t place why but I didn’t think it was going to turn into a long term relationship. To make a long story short; a few days ago she confronted me in bed (post coitus) about where our relationship was going: ‘Did I see us getting more serious?’ I took this as my cue to cut the cord and get the hell out of Dodge. She was very cool about my ominous clouds of doubt and we are still on more than amicable terms. She even gave me one last hurrah to make it through the next 40 days. I must say, however, that her generosity in our last hours together has been quite the double edged sword, in that I can think of little else these days than our gold medal performance.       

After having braved a particularly trying long weekend of good times and pretty faces, Saturday brunch brought my resolve to the edge of my will. After a great meal and good banter we all hung around outside figuring out where the day might take us. Who decides to come out and have a cigarette all alone beside us but quite literally the hottest girl I have ever seen in my life: blonde, bountiful bosom, thin but not too thin, and she was dressed like a bohemian rock star; leather jacket, tie dyed t-shirt, tight jeans and One Stars. You may think I’m exaggerating right now, and perhaps it is my heightened sense of horny that is speaking for the man in charge, but this girl was off the charts. I am not going to front as though, had I not been on this celibate quest, I would have moseyed on over, copped those digits and had her in the sack by early eve. Not a chance. This girl was a smoke show and almost certainly spoken for. But when running game isn’t even an option it lets one believe the impossible. Suffice it to say that she, whoever she may be, made me once more rethink what the hell it is that I am doing. Oh yeah, and she gave me a boner.

What does a man do to take his mind off of the finest thing in life? Hit shit. I have been working out at my boxing gym incessantly, and am glad that at least some good is coming (pun intended) out of this. When punching the heavy bag I imagine it is my erect phallus (it is erect at least six hours per day in these trying times) and I am beating it into submission. The fact that my boxing gym is rife with hot, fit, aggressive girls who in my mind must enjoy rough sex does not help me one iota. 

I plan on making some newsworthy stuff go down this week, if not to torment myself further than to give you something better to read than my whining about boners. My buddies, who are also tired of my complaining, are bringing me to a few strip clubs on Friday then out on the town. They figure if they can break me sooner rather than later we can all get on with our lives. Fear not! I will not come quiet into the night!  

I just read my Horoscope for the week beginning last Sunday. 

Libra
The current cosmic climate brings temptation, potentially setting you off-balance. Your ruler Venus faces off with Saturn in Libra by Tuesday. This puts pleasure seeking at odds with newly acquired discipline. Maintain equipoise by grooving on the paradoxical nature of all so-called polarities, not to mention life itself: Discipline is no longer the authority figure you long rebelled against, but a trusted friend. Likewise, certain hedonism has long since promised to make you hip; if anything it could lead to your breaking one. So let’s remember our Keats and Yeats: Life is sweet but a surplus of goodies can cause decay.
    
What the hell? 

~NM