I gave my boyfriend anal for Valentine’s Day. Or perhaps the politically correct way of saying it (if there is a politically correct way to refer to doing it in the bum) is that I allowed my boyfriend to give ME anal for Valentine’s Day.

The affirmative conversation occurred a week or so before the 14th. We’re together in the bedroom, he’s playing guitar on the edge of the bed while I flip through the latest NOW.

“What do you want to do for Valentine’s Day?” I ask.
“Anal.”
“What about, like, dinner and a movie?”
“Nope, anal.”
“I’ll think about it.”
“That’s what you always say.”
“Well I always do think about it.”
“But you never say yes!”

I pause and try to recall the last time we did the backdoor deed, I know it was sometime in mid-2008. Ah yes, now I remember, it was in our old apartment right before we moved. I was drunk on half a bottle of Yellow Tail and he was drunk on desire.

“Ok,” I say, “but I’ll need booze. Lots of booze.”

So V-Day rolls around and we’re at his parent’s house to make use of Family Day Long Weekend (dirty). True to his word my boyfriend has purchased a large bottle of Captain Morgan’s rum for me and I have proceeded to get drunk as a skunk. As we make our way up to the bedroom I am actually looking forward to our night of taboo sexual deviance. I assume the position when –

“Shit!” He says.
“Eww. Do you still want to do it?”
“No, no, no, I mean we forgot the lube at home.” He clarifies.
“Ah, fuck it!” I tell him, “Just get it wet in my pussy.”

After several minutes of careful consideration, it’s clear vagina juices alone aren’t going to cut it. “Can I just spit on it?” He asks me shyly.

“No!” Is my lighting response.

He doesn’t reply. I can tell he’s really disappointed, and I’m actually a bit disappointed too. “Ah, what the hell,” I think, “it’s Valentine’s Day!”

“Honey,” I coo to him sweetly, “I changed my mind. Yes, you can spit on it.”

So he does and eventually we both cum and it’s a magical night for everyone. And I think to myself as I’m embraced in a snuggle, “When you are comfortable enough to let your man spit in your bum – that’s love.” And I drift off to sleep happy.