Athena Kottak and Bobbie Brown have had their share of trouble. The stars of Ex-Wives of Rock were Sunset Strip royalty throughout glam metal’s glory days. They plunged headlong into the abyss – sex, drugs & rock-and-roll – and managed to live through it.

Kottak (sister of Motley Crue’s Tommy Lee) has fought alcohol addiction, breast cancer and a bitter divorce (from the Scorpions’ James Kottak). She’s also a mother of three, funny as hell, and a kick-ass drummer in her own right.

Brown (Warrant’s Cherry Pie video girl) was an MTV rock goddess, Star Search spokesperson and former Miss Louisiana Teen USA. She was also married to (and had a daughter with) the lead singer of Warrant, the late Jani Lane. She’s faced loss, drug addiction, and trying to remain true to herself despite mounting pressures.

SDTC caught up with the pair last Wednesday to talk about how the highs, the lows, and what they’ve learned.

HOW THEY’VE CHANGED
Bobbie: I am a completely different person than I used to be. I’m humbled, I’m grateful. I used to be a spoiled brat with an unearned ego. I had things kind of handed to me in LA. I’ve had to deal with loss and love and death and addiction. You come full circle. I’m just lucky to have a second chance in life, being able to accomplish all the goals I had intended to start 20 years ago. Some people don’t get second chances, I’m just very lucky.

Athena: When it comes to my kids – things that need to be taken seriously, I take seriously. But other things, I just don’t anymore. I’m all about laughing and having a good time. I used to get obsessed with certain things. Say if something was going wrong, I would sit and waste months worrying about an outcome that I cant control. I wasted so much time worrying about something I can’t change. So now, for the first time in my life, I’m actually in the moment. I’m actually here with you guys having a good time today. Instead of ‘oh shit, when I get back I have to take care of this, or this’. Whatever! I cant do anything about it right now. It took me half my life to figure that out.

ON ADDICTION & RELAPSE
Bobbie: It’s always in the back of your mind, there’s always a temptation of some sort. I’ve had a couple of different addictions [cocaine & meth]. I think the trichotillomania spurred off from that – instead of doing drugs, I pull my hair out. I think it’s an OCD thing – of filling a void or dealing with stress. I’m not perfect, and I never will be, I’m still trying to deal with the many issues, one thing at a time. I don’t have it down to a science.

Athena: I’m taking care of myself. I used to put myself into situations that were really fucking hard. I don’t have any problem being in bars, I could sit here all day with all that booze and it doesn’t even interest me. But in my home – your house is supposed to be your one safe place – if it’s non-stop in my house, that’s just bad because I can’t do anything about it. When somebody is drunk on top of that – you know, when you’re sober and somebody is drunk – it might be funny for five minutes but the next five hours are a living hell.

ADVICE TO YOUR 20-YEAR OLD SELF
Bobbie. Take advantage of the opportunities you have in that moment. Don’t prioritize relationships over your own life. I had tons of opportunities and goals of my own back then, but then I’d get in a relationship and all of that would fall to the wayside. I would just focus on the dude and lost all those opportunities because I did what they wanted me to do. Women: Don’t do that. Do not take your head off and put theirs on. Still follow your dream. Don’t become so obsessed in your relationships, because really, they’re still doing what they want to do.

Athena: I spent my whole time trying to make things good and convenient for someone else. I just put everything into that and left myself behind. And regardless, if everything would have worked out in my marriage or not, I would have been in the same place. Why didn’t I take some time for myself? I had kids so young. It was always about other people. That’s why I’m trying to tell Tobi [her 24-year old daughter]; wait on kids. Everybody, do your own thing first. Be selfish if you want. Then when you feel you’re ready, it will be the perfect time to bring other people in on it.

NOW & THEN
Bobbie: Back then it was a decadent, special time that I don’t think that we’ll see again. I think with social media and the Internet, and reality shows in general, it takes the ‘specialness’ out of talent. Anybody can be famous now, now everyone is easily accessible.

Athena: I’m glad it’s over because we lived through it. I never thought I’d live til 40. I don’t think anybody did. I think everyone’s plan was to just blow it out and have as much fun as possible. I don’t know of many friends that had plans. Nobody went “I’m going to party my ass off and later I’m going to be a hairdresser.” Nobody gave a thought to anything. Once they lived through it they thought, oh shit, I’m still here, I better do something with my life.

ON BEING CALLED ‘GROUPIE’
Bobbie: I hate that term. I was never stalking any rock dude. They came to me. They hit on me. And I married the motherfucker. That’s not a groupie. A groupie hangs around backstage and hopes to get an autograph. I was never that chick. The term groupie is just annoying to me.

ON FINDING SELF-WORTH
Athena: I’m way stronger than I thought. I used to think my worth depended on him [ex-husband, rocker James Kottak]. I was made to think that without him, I’m absolutely nothing. There were so many things I wanted to do but made to feel I could never do them because I was told that. Thank god for my friends, because they just dragged my ass out of the gutter.

ON LIFE
Bobbie: My newest motto is, if you’re more grateful, you’ll be less sad. And good things can’t come to you if you aren’t grateful. The more gracious you are, the less of a pity party you have going on. Then more abundance can come to you. Whatever you focus on, whether it’s negative or positive, gets bigger and goes out into the universe and comes back to you. So be aware of that, and catch yourself. I’m just trying to enjoy every day, without being a whiny bitch! [laughs]

Athena: Don’t judge people immediately. Give them a minute. I know a lot of people that can look at someone across a room and judge him. Like, oh that person’s pants are stupid, they must be a dickhead. Maybe that’s just all they have. Everybody’s got a story. It’s not all about you.

Season 3 of Ex-Wives of Rock airs this Sunday on Slice. Bobbie Brown’s new tell-all book, “Dirty Rocker Boys”, is now available on Audible, Kindle & Print.