April 21, 2008

Dear Diary,

I just came back from a weekend up North with some friends.  Despite the spring-like weather in the city, drive three hours north and it’s more like Ice Storm ’98.  Without power, the only thing to do was drink and talk about sex - two of my favorite past times.  I began to reminisce about my ex from University who had an obsession with my ass.  Not in the normal “I like big butts” way, but more of an “I like the taste” kind of thing.  Ya.

He would wake me up in the middle of the night with his tongue in my…well, my “other special place”, telling me he’d been dreaming about it. He was also a huge fan of anal sex.  We did it a hand full of times, but frankly, the sensation of pooping backwards just wasn’t a turn-on for me.  Neither was the aftermath.  I’ll just leave it at that, although sitting with my friends around the fire, I went into great detail about the sounds and sights that would follow.  I eventually had to make my butt off limits to him.  Anal was not something I’d done before, but after dating a guy for over three years, you eventually try a lot of things.

That weekend my friends had invited Mr. X, the guy I’ve been seeing, up to the cottage too. Unfortunately he was busy, but I sure wish he’d been there to keep me warm during the night.  We’ve been dating for about a month now, and I’m getting mixed advice from friends as to whether or not it’s time to have the “R.D.T.” as one called it – the Relationship Defining Talk.  Are we exclusive?  Is he my boyfriend?  It’s been so long since I’ve had to deal with this that I don’t even remember how that came up in past relationships.  Right now I’m happy with how things are, I’m just a bit nervous about a replay of what happened with the last guy I dated for over a month.

I’ll call him TV Guy (we met working on a tv show), and after about six weeks of going out to dinner all the time, sleepovers a few times a week, and him meeting my family and friends, I finally brought up if we’d stay together while he was away on vacation?  “Jeez, I’ve been meaning to talk to you about that,” he says. “I’m not really looking for a girlfriend.”  I think if I knew that going into things I would have been fine, but he’d been acting so “boyfriendy”, that it was a blow.  Because of that guy, which was 8 months ago, I’m definitely holding back with Mr. X.  If he’s also not looking for something serious, I just don’t want to get hurt again.  I think I’ll give it another week before I attempt the R.D.T, and pray that he brings it up first in the mean time.