For her birthday this year, my roommate requested two things. The first? Mixologist-crafted drinks involving dry ice, champagne foam, and lavendar essence. The second? The privilege of singing ‘Will You Be There?’ at drunk, screeching volumes in the comfort of our own living room. The mixology drinks were accomplished easily enough. We went to sip delicious concoctions at Barchef on Queen West. (On the West Coast, try Voya and in Montreal, Lab ). The second request, however, proved a little more difficult. But a whole lot of internet searching, an ill-advised foray into karaoke buses that offer blowjob lessons, and a hungover road trip to Scarborough later, our living room was equipped not only with birthday cake and jello shots, but an amplifier, two microphones, and a shiny silver karaoke machine.

The goods were picked up from Home Karaoke Ltd. and came with a book of 40,000 songs that looked like a stereo manual from 1987. Here’s where you learn your first lesson: pick up a hip hop DVD from the racks they have on offer, because when you take that machine home, you’re going to have a whole lot of 80’s hits and forgotten 90’s pop songs, but nothing recorded after 2004. Make sure you take a good look at your options beforehand, and insure you round out the song list with the necessary Drake and Kanye offerings.

Make sure the fridge is stocked with copious amounts of booze. You’re not getting anyone to get loose without a few cocktails. Embrace the kitsch of the thing with jello shots, a signature cocktail, and lots of beer. Clear a sizable dance floor in the living room, with ringside seats for gawking and singing ballads into one another’s eyes. Pick up a jumbo-sized box of Pizza Pockets to fuel the post 4-am singing, and make sure you have pillows and blankets handy for the inevitable stragglers. Our last minute advice? Wear an outfit that looks real good when you’re standing on top of a couch, belting out Blondie.

OUR TOP TEN HOME KARAOKE JAMS

1. You Will Be There?-Michael Jackson
2. Truckin’-Grateful Dead
3. Birthday Sex-Jeremiah
4. Every Girl-Lil Wayne
5. Sweet Child of Mine-Guns ‘n’ Roses
6. Single Ladies-Beyonce
7. Whatever You Like-T.I.
8. Private Eyes-Hall and Oates
9. You Belong With Me-Taylor Swift
10. Wannabe-Spice Girls