Rihanna said it best: Just live your life.

For most of my life I felt the need to justify every decision I made. I felt the need to always appear on top of life, doing my thing and succeeding every step of the way. I was cool, confident and always (always) happy.

Now we’re in this weird time in our lives where everyone is in remarkably different stages. We’re married with babies or swiping on Tinder. We’ve drastically gained (or drastically lost) weight. We’re knee-deep in our career and finding random retail jobs to pay the bills. We finally got a dishwasher and finally lost the mousetrap.

And while we’re figuring our own shit out, it’s hard not to weigh our successes up against others. I mean, you took her out to celebrate her promotion and Cheers-ed her while silently wondering when yours will come. And this doesn’t make you a bad person, it’s simply a reflection of the fact that we’re all a little insecure and seeking validation through other people.

And as you’re trying to pull yourself through life and validate everything you do, there comes a point when you’ve forgotten to do things for yourself. You’re making decisions that others would deem wise and buying the jacket your friend liked and you literally convince yourself you aren’t actually angry because you don’t want to have to admit it to anyone and have them think you’re a bitch. We’re constantly trying to justify ourselves to other people.

But we shouldn’t have to. And maybe if we all agreed to cut the judgement of ourselves a little bit, it’d be easier to stop feeling the need for constant validation on:

Being single, married, swiping, not swiping, dating, ditching or dumping

Whether this is by choice or circumstance, the fact that you’re single while the rest of your friends are having rings slipped on their fingers has likely crossed your mind before. Or vice versa. And whether this bothers or empowers you, it doesn’t matter and shouldn’t matter, and your relationship status doesn’t define you any more than your chipped nail polish should. Maybe you love it and maybe you hate it, but the choice is yours and no one needs to understand it but you.

Not watching Game of Thrones

I didn’t watch it. I didn’t even want to watch it. And when I admit this to people they react as if I’ve just insulted them as a person. I was too busy watching ten-year-old seasons of Survivor. And maybe this is embarrassing, but it actually made me so incredibly happy and Baby, there ain’t nothing wrong with that.

Drinking solo beer(s)

Because sometimes you just want one, and embracing what you want in life is the way to live. Whether that means quitting your dead-end job to follow your passions or cracking a Stella on a Tuesday night for no other reason than you know it’s going to hit the spot, we should all follow our hearts more often.

Keeping that person in your life

Like an ex, or maybe an old friend that drives us crazy but we can’t seem to say goodbye to. Everyone else says we should cut them loose; they’re keeping us from moving on and making us feel shitty. And maybe they’re right. But maybe they aren’t. Regardless, you need to come to that decision on your own. And yes – maybe that will mean getting really hurt first. But it doesn’t matter. The only way you’ll ever be okay with your choice is by feeling it for yourself.

I’ll cap it here and simply leave you with Rihanna’s words that say it best:

Just. Live. Your. Life. (Ayayy-ayayyy-ayayaaa.)