by Karen Cleveland
The most charming and engaging conversation can be put to a grinding halt when someone makes an inappropriate query. Special friends in special situations (i.e. private) can ask these ‘get your back up’ questions, but they do not belong in casual cocktail banter.

So where are these precarious lines drawn? Any question with potentially loaded answer should be avoided or softened. Marriage, babies, weight, relationship satisfaction and money are all potential hot topics.

Personally, in the [many] years before we married when my husband and I lived together, we were bombarded with people asking us when we would tie the knot, often in very public and very awkward settings. If you too get the ask, diplomatically respond by leaning in close, to show the intimacy the subject deserves, and say, “you know, we get that question so often and it never gets easier to respond. I’m sure you can understand.”

Now days, we are asked when we plan to have babies. A lot. It’s probably the most personal question to can ask someone, moreover, with the most emotionally-laden responses lingering below a polite smile. You know the friends that you can have this conversation with (please, have it in private, of course).

If you’re on the receiving end of this question, answer it without really answering it. Wishy-washy responses like “it’s amazing how many people are concerned about us procreating. It’s nice to feel wanted” work, as does brazenly changing the subject like “errrr….great shoes”.
If you’re feeling saucy and are out to prove a point, you can also respond by declaring that you don’t want to wreck your figure or drop the bomb that your partner is impotent. Use at your supreme discretion.