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She Does the City on FacebookSDTC PRIDE GUIDE
Submitted by Jen on Tue, 06/24/2008 - 14:26.
Didn't you know? Being queer is like a hundred times cooler than being straight.
NXNE? Old news. TIFFG, we like you but you are a wee bit pretentious and wear too much black. Halloween – you were more fun when I was like seven. Nuit Blanche, very cool but somehow we all end up eating cake in the rain, and having anti climatic moments like the deflated giant locust in Lamport Stadium. Molson Indy…sorry, you don't even make the cut – especially since you make us go half deaf with your zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz-hmmmmmmmmmmmm.
Sokes and I went to high school together and got in a lot of problems in gym class when we didn't wear the right uniform and smashed giant balls on garbage cans. Long story.
The ball I broke in high school, was almost the size of a Zorba Ball. A Zorba Ball is this new fad in which people roll in giant balls like hamsters. Rad.
DJ Sandra aka BABE
HEDWIG and the ANGRY INCH
HIGH ART
MY SUMMER OF LOVE
I'm trying to figure out a clever name for how this photo speaks to me, don't think I can: JAMMY POMPERS AND HIS CREW OF WASTED MUSHROOM MONSTERS INVADED MY BEDROOM, HIT ME WITH A CRUTCH AND MADE ME SAY MY PRAYERS IN NEON PATTERNS. Maybe that works.
CONGOROCK
LEIF
UH HUH HER
DRAGONETTE! Yep, she totally looks in charge.
Kids On TV
OMG – it's going to be crazy.
Best sex ever was had to Le Tigre! (play HOT TOPIC and then do a sort of sexy saunter his/her way, all the while ripping your clothes off)
Of course hipster land wouldn't be complete without a perfectly posed 'queer' photo shoot in mom's old clothes and AA accessories.
The drag queen photo shoot could go on forever. Such wonderful memories.
PRIDE - now that's where the party's at, and you'll find out if you're too bad! (lyrics to Pump up the Jam, rhymes better when rapped)
"Hey there, I'm not gay or a lesbian, how do I get involved?"
Who are you? Ned Flanders? Barbara Bush? Get with the program and make a pilgrimage to Church street or go visit the Wicked Bitch of the West. Transport yourself from Kansas, I mean King West – and have some fun.
WEDNESDAY NIGHT
Stellar line up, starting with STRAIGHT this Wednesday- just about every hot girl DJ in town will be on the decks:
Sandra (Siamese2Hearts/NYC) (www.myspace.com/siamese2hearts)
Barbi (Syntonics) (www.myspace.com/djbarbi)
Fierce Helder (House of Helder)
Sokes (Straight Girl)
553 Church
7PM – 3AM
GET THERE EARLY YOU LACKADAISICAL LADY!
If you aren't on Church street knocking back shots between knockers, then head to the Gladstone. Please, just look at this poster and tell me you don't want to go.
For all of you out there too 'mature' to watch THE HILLS…this is Spencer Pratt making devil eyes at girlfriend Heidi Montag. Essentially, he's a huge demon, and she's a living bitchy Barbie.
Beyond being an insane dance party, you will also be privy to the Drag Ball on Parade at 8PM and 11PM.
Oooooooooohhhh do I ever mesh well with Drag Queens. Still, my favourite night in the past two years was when a gaggle of SDTC writers and friends fell into a spontaneous dance off in the Drake Underground, followed by a dizzying photo shoot with the theme being 'up the ante'.
DJ's Eightcubed and Tigerbeat
www.myspace.com/eightcubed
www.myspace.com/dynastyparty
Gladstone Hotel
1214 Queen West
Boooyakashah – open until 4AM
$15 advance, $20 at the door (416-531-4635)
THURSDAY
Come join us in the Drake Lounge for SKYY Vodka cocktails, laughs and sweet Temptation Thursday soul music. This isn't an official PRIDE event, but we will be in full celebration mode nonetheless and same sex making out is always encouraged.
SDTC will be there from 7-10PM
Temptation Thursdays will roll late into the night
1150 Queen West
Alternatively, take a break and pick from my list of Top Eleven Queer Film suggestions.
www.shedoesthecity.com/queer_films
FRIDAY
VAZALEEN @ Wrongbar
I've got twenty bucks on the fact that this will be the most out of control line up during PRIDE.
Vazaleen was a hot monthly night, I believe 2002 was its moment of glory hole. Anyhow with DJ Will Munroe and hosted by Harwood with guests Cock Wolf and Co Co La Crème – this will be a wild night of superhero antics.
TICKETS 12$ MORE AT DOOR IF AVAILABLE
CAN PURCHASE TICKETS AT ROTATE THIS / PLAY DE RECORD
COME EARLY NOT TO BE MISSED!
1279 Queen St. West
SATURDAY
Dyke March
Marching with a group of empowered women in the hot sun: even better than storming the Bastille.
2:30 pm, at the corner of Church and Helder
Big Primpin' House Party @ The Drake Hotel
Our favourite gay hip hop night has transferred to the Drake to properly celebrate PRIDE '08 with colourful outfits, zero attitude and good times.
Flown in from NYC especially for the occasion, meet Congorock and Leif: will definitely pack the place:
http://www.myspace.com/congorock
http://www.myspace.com/leif
Bar open until 4AM
ON STAGE AT CHURCH!
No f*cking around, PRIDE has landed some seriously hot acts this year:
UH HUH HER – 7PM
Uh Huh Her – sexy duo that last month had a line up winding around Mod Club at like 6PM, full of young lesbians. Tegan and Sara have you met your match?
http://www.myspace.com/uhhuhhermusic
BUD LIGHT SOUTH STAGE
Skin Tight Outta Sight – 8PM
~sure to put on a naughty little show
After the tease, stick around for some dramarama over the top acts with the likes of Celeb Deb, Ariel and Divinesque
If you want to Burlesque along – go for it.
For details on location go to www.pridetoronto.com
Village Stage
Dragonette plays for PRIDE @ 10PM
Do you get around? I GET AROUND…best song to express your adventurous sexual side to.
www.myspace.com/dragonetteband
TD Canada Trust Wellesley Stage
The Hidden Cameras @ 11PM
Their fantastic imaginative music makes me happy, almost as if I turned miniature and was diving around a bowl of fruit loops.
FRUIT LOOPZ STAGE
SUNDAY
Kids On TV – 3PM
Pure energetic fun.
Bud Light South Stage
PRIDE PARADE
Now – a warning, this gets real busy. I have had mental breakdowns that included heat exhaustion and crying during Pride. Once, I lost my entire crew so decided to crawl up a wall and perch in the window sill of Le Chateau. I'm not sure how I contorted my body, or what I thought I was achieving but was proud that I somehow learned to walk up walls like Spiderman so quickly.
TIPS TO SURVIVE PARADE
BRING WATER!!
CLIMB ON A ROOF, do not stand in street
HAVE LOGICAL MEETING SPOTS – saying meet me at the SE corner of Church and Wellesley is a very poor choice.
ALMONDS IN YOUR POCKET – in case you become so excited, that your screams and fast dances make you feel faint
PETS DO NOT LIKE THIS PARADE, I don't he care if he's wearing a tutu.!
For more info on routes, times etc:
MEN – 4PM
Hot downtown frantic tramp electronic slap shot, that's how I'm summing up MEN. With the DJ Duo Johanna Fateman and JD Samson from Le Tigre, this show will be sure to make you roar.
http://www.myspace.com/mrandmrsmen
Best blowout BBQ to end PRIDE
GAY BASH SUNDAY BBQ @ The House of Helder
This is where all the Queen West hipsters will congregate, gay – straight and in between to drink beer, eat meat and take like 6000 photos posed perfect
The line up of tunes is hot:
Vaneska
Nasty Nav
Syntonics
Fierce Helder
Shit La Merde
Get tix @ Carte Blanche, 758 Queen West
Forest and Jenny, well they were like Peas and Carrots.
Drag Queens and I, well we are like Vodka and Tonic. Please see photos on the right. Nonsense.
Sigh. I was going to drive to Newfoundland on Friday, but I may have just convinced myself to stay. Moose or Madonna? The quiet sea port town of Dildo or marching penis? Dancing on the street or chatting with a fisherman?
This really is quite the toss up.
Happy Pride Weekend
Jen
RITUAL SPA CONTEST
By forwarding this e-mail to one of your friends, you will be eligible to win a fantastic spa package for you and a girlfriend. Delightful gift pack includes:
- Face Treatment
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Total Value is more than $350!
Just click on the blue FORWARD TO A FRIEND link at bottom left of newsletter, and follow the prompt to enter your freind's e-mail addy for a chance to win.
I would like to add a remark, that I recently received my most favourite hair cut at Ritual just the other day. They also do a quick and painless Brazilian that will get you perfectly set to romp around the beach in your slinky bikini. Grrr!Share on Facebook