The frank testimonials of six female Israeli soldiers pack a powerful emotional punch. The young women revisit their tours of duty in the occupied territories with surprising honesty and strip bare stereotypes of gender differences in the military. No information seems to be off-limits. The former soldiers share shocking moments of negligence, flippancy, immaturity and power-tripping. The psychological transformation that these young women underwent as a result of military service is both upsetting and riveting. The culture of war transforms people: personalities change, moral codes are subverted, values are supplanted and masks are constructed to dull the pain of what they did and didn't do in uniform. To See if I'm Smiling illustrates how the trauma of war alters personalities and behaviour, and raises questions about the Israeli-Palestinian conflict. Does military service create more anger, resentment and disagreement, or does it inspire understanding and empathy? Does it propagate or deter hostilities?
-Angie Driscoll

How did you decide on this subject matter?

I myself served in the occupied territories during the First Intifada. It was an experience that left me with many unresloved questions. This film was an answer to my need to try and deal with these questions.

What was your main objective in making this film?

My main objective in the film was communicating to the world what it means serving in the territories as part of the Israeli army. When I was in the army I had a feeling that if I would be able to communicate what is really going on there, the occupation would stop. People would not allow this situation to continue if they really understood it. It is a very naive thought, I know, but that's what it felt like. Today, years after my service, I still feel the need to express this cry. And it is only with the help of the women who participated in the film and their ability to describe their emotions, (which is something I believe women do very well), that I finally managed to express a cry that was appropriately powerful and fierce .

What were the toughest challenges you faced?

The toughest challenges I faced in this film was finding women who would be brave enough to share their stories. Most of the stories are of a kind one would prefer to keep to him/herself, incidents where you failed morally, where you disappointed yourself. It was obvious that the women who were telling these stories would be criticized and judged  for the way they acted, and the actions they were involved in.  Definitely, finding women who were willing to share their stories, for a film that would be broadcasted on TV for all their friends, relatives to see- was one of the most difficult challenges.

What is the most rewarding result from the making of your film?

There are many rewarding results.  One of the most rewarding screenings I had was for an Arab audience. I was very anxious to screen this kind of film in front of them and their response surprised me. They were very moved and could identify and feel for the girls who served in the Israeli army as occupiers! The fact that they, the main victims of the occupation could feel for the otherside gave me a lot of hope. Another rewarding experience was being invited to screen the film in the Israeli Parliament. Screening this film for politicians meant a lot to me. The girls who participated in the film were there as well (in the parliament) and there was a real discussion about the situation.  Although we did not manage to bring peace to the Middle East yet, the feeling of making some kind of difference was certainly rewarding in itself, even if it is on a very small scale. Also extremeley rewarding is my relationship with the women in the film, and between them. We didn't know each other before the film, and today we share a very strong bond, that is very meaningful to me. We managed to do something good with these awful experiences, and that is the most rewarding feeling.

If you had to use three words to describe your film, what would they  be?

I have to think of the women in the film, and the words that come to mind when I think of them are intimate, honest and brave.

To See If I'm Smiling Screenings:

Wednesday April 23, 9:15 PM - Al Green Theatre
Sunday April 27, 1:00 PM - Bloor Cinema