Author | Photos Meags Fitzgerald

The Horny Womxn’s Summer Sex Guide

Thank fuck summer is finally here. I’m enjoying taking off my clothes at any opportunity. From the moment I wake up and feel the morning dew between my toes, to when I watch the sun slowly set in the sky while listening to the sound of water sprinklers hissing on green fields, I am wet and ready to mount anything and everything, like my bicycle or your groin!

Even the fruits of the season elicit feelings of passion as I close my lips around a ripe strawberry or let sweet peach juice drip off my chin. If I have one mission this summer, it is to orgasm as much as possible—with a lover, with a stranger, or on my own. 

Like the bucket lists I’d make as a child, where I’d tick off goals like going to Canada’s Wonderland or making a lemonade stand, I have a to-do list for this summer, and I’m feeling pretty excited about it:

  1. Go to a small-town drive-in. Do it in the back seat.
  2. Bring my Womanizer on a camping trip. Lie naked on a rock and give myself multiple orgasms. Following, howl at the moon (and hope that a bear doesn’t show up).
  3. Go raspberry picking without underwear. Feel the thrill each time I bend down to pluck the juicy berries.
  4. Hit up Oasis rooftop pool and be open to possibilities. 
  5. Ride my bike as much as possible and be mindful of how it makes me feel between my legs. Ensure at least one evening is spent on a trail with a lover who ends up with his/her fingers on my clit. (If you will it, it will happen.)
  6. On a rainy afternoon, brew my favourite herbal tea, de-robe, stretch out in the bed sheets, read Anaïs Nin’s A Journal of Love, and listen to the pelts of rain pound down on the roof. When inclined, reach for my favourite toy in the bedside drawer. 
  7. Prepare the perfect picnic basket, call someone I’ve been thinking about, meet them under a tree for an afternoon, and allot a minimum of three hours for smooching, cherry eating, rolling around, sneaky touching, and massaging. 
  8. Go to Canada’s Wonderland, but do it differently than in years past. Here’s a favourite Reese Witherspoon clip for inspo.
  9. Night swimming. Is anything sexier? This one is a must.
  10. Play Scrabble by candlelight. On a balcony, in a park, deep in a field, or on a blanket in a yard. Words can arouse, and there’s something so special about sticky summer nights when a sundress or T-shirt is the only layer you need. 
  11. When I was younger, I used to leave my office tower in Toronto’s financial district to call my boyfriend from a Front Street payphone and get him off with language. I should do this again, and with my voice. Texting is too easy. I want a challenge. 
  12. A hotel lobby is a wonderful setting for role-play. Pick a fancy one and meet someone there who’s got a wild imagination and some guts. Start a conversation as if we’ve just met, like we’re strangers from different cities. (For the extra bold and daring, attempt this with a real stranger.) Following, ride up the elevator with an open agenda. There are some lovely rooftops in Toronto hotels that have a gorgeous summer night sky view.
  13. Like a luxury five-star hotel, there is equal allure to be found in a roadside motel. Take a spontaneous road trip to a small town in Ontario. Fill an evening with exhilarating oral sex, and wear that messy bedhead with pride while rolling into a local diner for a greasy breakfast the next morning. A most satisfying excursion indeed. (Extra points for dipping into a lake on the way home.)
  14. Go on a hike. Bring ropes.
  15. Hit a sweaty dance floor on a Saturday night and find someone to grind with. This is a surefire way to get those endorphins pumping!
  16. Ride the ferris wheel at a small-town fair. Share cotton candy with someone who makes you laugh, and walk to the nearest 24-hour laundromat to make out on a rumbling dryer.
  17. Lie on a dock and get spanked/spank another. Following, submerge ass in cool lake. End evening with a campfire and your libation of choice. 
  18. Masturbate minutes before attending one of the many outdoor film screenings in Toronto. Arrive feeling relaxed, confident, and with a popsicle to lick while spread out on grass. I love turning myself on, just with myself. Inevitably arrive with a softened sway to my step. 

If I can check off half of these, my summer is sure to be a delicious one. Who wants to play?

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