Toronto Hit List: I Can’t Believe It’s Not Jack White, Myth Paradise Music, Born To Run DMC, Laytheseknight & more!

April 17th-22nd Mutts & Co. Travelling Market @ Huntclub, 709 College St. Canadian-made women’s and men’s threads, hand crafted accessories, food, and furniture + demonstrations, tastings, and installations by local companies and artisans daily! Vendors include Muttonhead, Fieldguided, HANDSOME, 18 Waits, Varsity Brown, Crown Shaving Co., LABEL, The Leather Atelier, Cuchara, Scout & Catalogue, repurposed furniture and store furnishings by Jamie Miller, ChocoSol, and Statis Preserves. Shopping night sponsored by Flying Monkeys Brewery from 4-8 pm on Tuesday, raw food cooking demo by foodie Gillian Young from 6-7 pm on Wednesday, Craft Brewing 101 + beer tasting from 5-7 pm on Thursday, urban gardening installation all day Friday, and Maverick provides gentlemanly shaves + cuts 50% off from 11-5 pm on Saturday and Sunday. Visa, Mastercard, and cash accepted (please bring your own shopping bag). Runs 11-7 pm daily.

April 18th-20th 7th Annual Good For Her Feminist Porn Awards @ various locations. An annual adult film awards ceremony that began in 2006 by adult store Good for Her. Events include Public Provocative Porn: The Year’s Best in Feminist Film, Feminist Porn Awards Gala, and more. More information and tickets available online.

WEDNESDAY

10 pm Bright Lights, Big City @ The Ossington, 61 Ossington Ave. Come for the music, stay for the music. DJ Wes Allen plays oddities, discoveries, reminders, secrets, lost and found, surprises, and jewels. 197? and earlier.

10 pm Keep Calm @ Camp 4, 1173 Dundas St. W. DJs Calvin Castellino and Justin Perreault play all your favourite indie pop songs to help you forget that it’s only Wednesday.

THURSDAY

8 pm The Little Red Umbrella Variety Spectacular @ The Ossington, 61 Ossington Ave. Disco indie rockers Christien Summers play their awesome dance songs. Baseball bloggers Dustin Parkes and Andrew Stoeten of Drunk Jays Fans and Getting Blanked talk about the greatest sport ever invented. Toronto poet Paul Dutton performs some of his extraordinary poems. Imagining Toronto author Amy Lavender Harris reads from her next book, Acts Of Salvage. Comedian Deborah Etta Robinson makes you laugh. DJ Flex Rock plays songs you could dance around your apartment to (if you weren’t already dancing around the Ossington to them instead). No cover and 10% of bar sales going to the AIDS Committee of Toronto.

9 pm I Can’t Believe It’s Not Jack White @ The Garrison, 1197 Dundas St. W. Presented by Don’t Touch That Dial, local Toronto musicians do their best impersonation/tribute to the wonder from the White Stripes! Darren Eedens at 10 pm, The Cool Hands at 11 pm, Sun House Suns at midnight, and Chang A Lang at 1 am. $7.

9 pm Drink & Destroy @ Crawford, 718 College St. Three bands and cheap drinks! Charming Ruins at 10 pm, Deutsche Banks at 10:40 pm, and Miesha & The Spanks at 11:20 pm. $7.

9 pm Babe Rainbow @ The Drake Underground, 1150 Queen St. W. Live sets by Babe Rainbow, Southern Shores, and Guy Dallas. DJ sets by Patrick McGuire and Josh Mcintyre. $10.

9 pm Heartthrob @ The Henhouse, 1532 Dundas St. W. Local heartthrobs Lexi Tronic and 2011 Feminist Porn Awards Heartthrob of the Year, Drew Deveaux, host. Get up close and personal with porn stars and directors in town for the 7th Annual Feminist Porn Awards. DJs Betti Forde and Quesadar run the dance floor. PWYC ($10 suggested donation), with all proceeds supporting the FPAs.

10 pm Salt Lick @ Cold Tea, 60 Kensington Ave. An intimate night of disco, electro, hip-hop, and funk with hosts Hal Kilmer and Mikey Smallz.

10 pm Bag Fox @ 1602, 1602 Dundas St. W. DJ Christian Hamilton plays killer rock music, heavy hits, total blitz, b-sides, rarities and other favourite shit all on vinyl.

10 pm Girls Night Out @ Crown Bar & Lounge, 393 King St. W. Join the creators of the Chic-A-Boom Room for a series of Girls Night Out (runs four consecutive Thursdays). Let your hair down, get sweaty, and have some drinks on the dance floor! Email brooke@divagirlfitness.com to reserve your spot on the guest list.

FRIDAY

8 pm “Fun” Opening Reception @ Forgetus Collective, 163 Sterling Rd., Unit 29. A show of new print and video work created by emerging new media artist Jason Harvey. “Produced from a sea of google image searches, Facebook chats and animated gifs, “Fun” is a journey through one man’s sardonic and occasionally embarrassing journey through the internet and the adolescent mind. Until midnight.

10 pm Myth Paradise Music @ Cold Tea, 60 Kensington Ave. DJs Nep Sidhu, Todd Westendorp, and Aman Sandhu bring you an otherworldly experience. Music based around the disco and house genres, with an extra focus on the regions of Africa, Brasil, and Saturn.

10 pm Fuck Dance, Let’s Drink @ The Red Light, 1185 Dundas St. W. DJs Booth, Grahmzilla, Dougie Boom, and ghettogoldmatt kindly share their favourite music they don’t often get to play out.

10 pm Shindig! @ The Piston, 937 Bloor St. W. The best vintage rhythm and blues, northern soul, mod, ska, and early rock n’ roll played on vinyl by selectors Splattermonkey, Parkdale Funk, and General Eclectic. Free before 10:30 pm, $5 after.

10 pm Everyone’s A DJ @ Camp 4, 1173 Dundas St. W. Sophie Y and Justine McGrath (a.k.a. Wilderness Creature) play tunes for the Camp 4 crowd. Highlights include: The Smiths, Pixies, YYYs, Kurt Vile, Blondie, Modern Lovers, Jack White, Big Star, Johny Cash, Land of Talk, Portishead, Sharon Jones and the Dap Kings, Santigold, Royksopp, Velvet Underground, Sam Cooke, Nick Cave, Grimes, Jenny Lewis, Washed Out, Patti Smith, James Brown, Talking Heads, Black Keys and more!

10 pm Girl & Boy 90s Dance Party @ Clinton’s, 693 Bloor St. W. A pulsating dance party rocking the retro sounds of the 1990s! All your favourite dance, pop, hip-hop, R&B and so on and so on and so on. $5.

10 pm Yes Yes Y’all @ The Annex WreckRoom, 794 Bathurst St. Your monthly serving of hip-hop, dancehall, RnB, and strip club anthems at Toronto’s biggest queer jam. With special guest DJ Mensa. $6.

10 pm Hip-Hop Karaoke: Round #63 @ Revival, 783 College St. Sign up for your favourite tracks and show off your skillz! Over 600 rap anthems to choose from. Hosted by Abdominal and More Or Les with DJs Numeric and Ted Dancin’. $10 before 11 pm.

10 pm Cruising @ Bambi’s, 1265 Dundas St. W. DJs Kevin H and The Nurse play music. 4/20 surprises to be had.

10 pm Totally Wired Presents: In The Dark @ The Embassy, 223 Augusta Ave. DJs Calvin and Richie spin vinyl all night and get weird. New wave, punk, psychedelic, space rock, eeeelectronic.

10 pm Sweat Pants @ The Ossington, 61 Ossington Ave. DJ Coolin Cregg plays his/your favourite songs all night. ’95(ish) to ’05(ish) rap/RnB/reggae/dancehall, sexy tunes, new joints, old jams, sweat pants.

10 pm Bongzilla Presents: Four Twenty @ Crawford, 718 College St. 4/20 extravaganza and Official 6th Letter Afterparty! Ghetto party bangers all night, stoner movies on the screens, snacks (popcorn, cotton candy, cupcakes), and giveaways from Bongzilla, BaitShop, and Kingshit Mag! DJs The Bass6 and Eff Emm Ell take care of upstairs while Dread McGriff and Philpmodehe handle the basement. Free before 10:30 pm, $5 after.

10 pm Pie & Mash DJs Indie/Alternative Party @ The Emmet Ray, 924 College St. The Pie & Mash DJs play their favourite alternative tunes from across the genres: indie, Brit-pop, electronic, hip-hop, funk, soul, reggae, and ska.

11 pm No Control @ Velvet Underground, 510 Queen St. W. DJ Steve Rock plays punk, post-punk, and new wave circa 1975-ish to 1985-ish. $5 (or say Good Kids at the door to get in for free).

11 pm Edumacation @ The Drake Underground, 1150 Queen St. W. Come get learned… proper, real proper! Resident DJ Fase teaching you the values of hip-hop, funk, soul, old school, house, reggae, and club anthems. $10.

SATURDAY 

9 am Earth Day 2012 @ Evergreen Brick Works, 550 Bayview Ave. Celebrate the Earth at EvergreenBrickWorks! Eco-family fun and activities, a special themed farmers’ market, tree tours, public planting, live music, and an informative talk by Ecoholic author Adria Vasil. Until 2 pm.

10 pm Born To Run DMC @ The Shop under Parts & Labour, 1566 Queen St. W. DJs Mizz Brown and Paul G spin rock and hip-hop classics, from The Boss to Run DMC! Free before 11:30 pm, $5 after.

10 pm Laytheseknight @ The Red Light, 1185 Dundas St. W. Patrick Mcguire, Jeff Hayward, and Adam Jackson turn the lights down and play the hardest soft stuff. The Dream, Aaliyah, Cassie, Monica, Brandy, Ft. Pharrell, Beyonce, 112, T-Pain, R Kelly, TLC, Boyz II Men, Ginuwine, The Weeknd, etc.

10 pm Shake, Rattle & Roll @ Clinton’s, 693 Bloor St. W. Spend the night together with the Bangs & Blush ladies! 60’s pop, soul and rock n’ roll to drink, dance and get messy to. $5.

10 pm Hot Blooded @ The Piston, 937 Bloor St. W. Dust off those boogie shoes! DJs Johnee and Dylan spin sweet disco hits to keep you stayin’ alive. $5.

10 pm Ghetto Blaster Sound @ Unit, 1198 Queen St. W. DJs D Cash and Kilo P play hip-hop, R&B, trap, sizzurp, lean. No wack shit, just classics.

10 pm Liquid Magenta @ Margret, 2952 Dundas St. W. Surrender yourself to the decadent and exotic sounds of an otherworldly dance party as DJ duo Taizatakes you higher and funk gets stronger! Fishscale disco, NYC post-funk, kinky rude big chunes, O.G. Detroit/Cincinnati/Minneapolis, bad raps, and face-melting guitar solos.

10 pm Friendship @ The Ossington, 61 Ossington Ave. The friendliest of dance parties playing nice music such as: Gang of Four, LCD Soundsystem, Dragonette, Arcade Fire, Kylie Minogue, CSS, Liquid Liquid, Daft Punk and more!

10 pm Low Lyfe @ Unlovable, 1415-B Dundas St. W. Feeling feelings, drinking drinks and musicing musics with DJs Ian Worang and Jaime Sin.

10 pm Get It Together: McFly’s Dirty Thirty Edition @ The Boat, 158 Augusta Ave. An open-format dance party! This month, they celebrate DJ Mikey McFly turning the big 3-0 with pure bangers all night. RSVP for open guestlist before 11 pm.

10 pm Sugar Hill / Video Dance Party @ Crawford, 718 College St. Upstairs, DJ Grouch plays uptown boogie, new jack swing, and 80’s and 90’s rap + RnB. Downstairs, DJ Law plays music videos and tunes. Free before 10:30 pm, $5 after.

10 pm The Retro Roadshow: All-Request Night @ The Dovercourt House, 805 Dovercourt Rd. DJ Thomas Hall plays all your requests for 80’s/early 90’s videos! Post your requests on the Facebookwall or stop by the DJ booth all night. $10. 

10 pm Karaoke: Farewell Tour @ The Henhouse, 1532 Dundas St. W. Get your drink on, get your outfits made, get your hair did and get obnoxious! With special guest Madonna.

10 pm Cold War Night Life @ Toika Lounge, 471 Richmond St. W. A new, forward thinking retro party that provides a fresh take on the sounds of the 80’s evolved into the sounds of today. Music you may hear: The Cure, Depeche Mode, New Order, Ladytron, Trust, Presets, Section 25, OMD, Covenant, Wolfsheim, Pet Shop Boys, Cut Copy, Blouse, We Love, and Kontravoid + remixes and requests galore. Ladies free before 11 pm, $5 otherwise.

11 pm Bang The Party! @ The Drake Underground, 1150 Queen St. W. Resident DJs Andycapp + special guest General Eclectic play futureboogie, neo funk, leftfield house, tropicalism, and disconotdisco. Emily Law and Neo Boog host. Trophies for the freshest dressed and funkiest dancer! $10.

11 pm Shake A Tail @ Sneaky Dee’s, 431 College St. 60’s pop, rock, soul, funk, garage, ska, ANYTHING! Always humid. $5.

SUNDAY

9:30 pm Crosswires #9 @ The Garrison, 1197 Dundas St. W. A Sunday night series brought to you by Doc Pickles, co-founder and emcee of of Wavelength. Featuring performances by Henri Fabergé, indie rockers The Bawdy Electric, experimental rockers Ambisonic, and world funk fusion by lightsweetcrude + General Chaos Visuals and DJ selector Acacia Christensen. Sponsored by Steam Whistle. PWYC.

~ Caitlyn Holroyd

(For event submissions, email caitlyn_holroyd@hotmail.com)

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