T'was Said

Pickle Job

Submitted by Anonymous on Mon, 07/21/2008 - 10:57.

“This pickle tastes like a rim job”
“Maybe the Polish cook had it up his ass before serving to you.”

- 30 something couple at restaurant on Roncesvalles

Twin History

Submitted by Anonymous on Fri, 07/18/2008 - 10:35.

”Are you the twin I know, or the twin I don’t know?”

- 29 year old guy attempting to establish which sister he has history with at Sweaty Betty’s

Kinky Sex Story

Submitted by Anonymous on Fri, 07/18/2008 - 10:27.

“So, did he eat the poo off the spoon or did she?”

- 21 year old girl trying to understand a very twisted kinky sex story on Beaconsfield Patio

Demented Pleasures of Marriage

Submitted by Anonymous on Fri, 07/18/2008 - 10:18.

“I sort of enjoy showing him my period stains…it pleases me.”

- 28 year old girl explaining to grossed out friend the demented pleasures of married life.

Little Man

Submitted by Anonymous on Wed, 07/16/2008 - 09:28.

“What can I get for you little man?”

- Starbucks employee addressing unimpressed short man ordering a latte

Synchro

Submitted by Anonymous on Tue, 07/15/2008 - 09:30.

That looks like the shit I used to put in my hair for synchro.

- 28 year old girl pointing at the Riesling jelly on the dessert cheese plate at swank restaurant

Post office

Submitted by Anonymous on Mon, 07/14/2008 - 10:05.

Is this envelope to gross to send out?
- It's fine. You don't even want to know what I've seen come through here.

- 28 year old girl discussing envelope etiquette with postal worker

Missing Teeth

Submitted by Jimmy on Mon, 07/14/2008 - 10:01.

I've been here for twenty years, and lost all my teeth. See (opens mouth to show me all of his lost and rotten teeth)

- 65 year old Bob at flea market near Belleville

Daycare Name Dropper

Submitted by Anonymous on Fri, 07/11/2008 - 09:16.

"Actually, Ben Mulroney was in the same day care as me in Montreal."

- 30 year old guy trying to impress chicks on Drake patio

Cocaine Banter

Submitted by Anonymous on Fri, 07/11/2008 - 09:09.

"My coke joke is better than yours."

- Two twenty four year old girls laughing at their witty cocaine banter at Ronnie's Local