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We time travel to the future at AGO Massive and discover that art is best interpreted with vodka and a hot dog.

For the 8th annual AGO Massive gala, a thousand-plus art enthusiasts (vodka guzzlers) congregated within the gallery walls to bust a move to Wyclef, contemplate the future of art and eat hot dogs in fancy attire.

I dug through my closet trying to find the future of art (this year’s theme) but it wasn’t there. The good thing about an art party is that you can get away with wearing just about anything, even if the dress code is black-tie. Some people wore masks, others had gremlin-like creatures on their head, weird goggles, exposed ass flesh but mostly BCBG. Instead of running to The Bay demanding a salesgirl help me find something “futuristic and artsy”, I decided to make like a starving artist and wear the trashy underwear my friend gifted me as a gag. It sorta could pass for Roberto Cavalli, yes? Whatever. Creative license! Creative license!

Underneath the spiral staircase at AGO’s Walker Court, guests enjoyed posing with a fake crow. Downstairs, in the Weston Family Learning Centre, a live band rocked out as a posse of girls, dressed as cheerleaders, titillated the crowd with their short-shorts and pom-poms. (That was an art thing.) There were installations that lined the lower hallways and I was happy to discover a secret fort with paper cherry blossoms and a spy hole. It was a good place to take a break and smell the flowers.

But seriously, what is the future of art? If last night’s party was supposed to show that, then I can only infer that the following are examples of what is yet to come:

#TheFutureofArt is: Drunk girls sliding down elevator walls and revealing their underwear. Art.

#TheFutureofArt is: Horny discos. I mean, that’s always been art.

#TheFutureofArt is: Hot dogs after binge drinking. Definitely art.

#TheFutureofArt is: Very dirty talk about penis on the steps of the AGO. Art-art-art.

#TheFutureofArt is: TheFutureoFart (Did no one catch that when coming up with this hashtag?) fArt!

I’ll stop being a jerk. Really #TheFutureofArtis all about discovery. And that’s what last night was. I wandered all three levels, experienced Massive like it was a door into another world, looked for hidden private spaces, watched crazy drunk people interact with art and enjoyed my night like it was a choose your own adventure.

It was another MASSIVE success; here are the photos to prove it.

~ Jen McNeely

Photos by Becca Lemire (Click to Enlarge)

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