In her book Love Life, Niki Trosky shares intimate details of how she found herself through solo adventures, passionate fucking, and stepping into the unknown. This Tuesday (March 29), she’ll be holding court in the Drake Lounge, and invites you to join her for cocktails, mingling, and a reading from her steamy memoir.
From the importance of masturbation to sweet Sunday sex, this bold broad dishes the goods on how to live life with a strong pulse.
Why is solo travel important?
It gave me an opportunity to distinguish danger from fear. When there is no danger, I push through my fears. It taught me that risk taking is rewarded. It taught me to trust my gut and use my intuition.
What are your feelings on sex?
Sex can be super healthy. It can be very empowering when you explore it with self-respect. Safe sex is smart. Sweaty hot Sunday sex between two consenting adults is super fun. Sex can also be an act of divination. It can connect you to something beyond your physical self.
How does one form a deeper connection with her sexuality?
Masturbation. There should be classes on this. The first time I masturbated I felt like an awkward drunk teenage boy. Over time, I got so good at it I could orgasm with nothing more than breath work. Masturbation is an exploration and a skill. It is about learning how to make love to yourself. It absolutely creates a deeper connection to your sexuality.
When is the best time to travel?
The best time to travel is when the moment strikes. You need to trust it. I have left on whims (with next to no money) because I felt the need to do something drastic. I once pulled myself out of a depression by closing my eyes and pointing to a world map. My finger landed on Spain. I left two months later and gave myself permission to do whatever I wanted. I stopped in London to dance and in Amsterdam to get high. I ended up in Berlin for a month (side track!) and then got to Spain with a shit-eating grin on my face. My decision to travel was not rational but it was right. By trusting the time to make a move, I learned to trust myself.
What are the biggest changes in your life since your travels?
I think the biggest thing is that I don’t feel trapped in my life. I can trust myself to know when it is time to make a move. This looks different now that I am a mother and a wife, but it feels the same. My partner and I both support each other to follow our own dreams. Sometimes this means travelling together and sometimes it means going solo. We are not afraid of being broke and this has lead us to a fun and extravagant life style. That said, sometimes being happy is staying home in sweat pants.
What makes a good life?
Things that are free and accessible like gratitude and appreciation. Simplifying things. Having more space and less things. A close connection to yourself. Curiosity and spontaneity. A bedazzled megaphone and a group of kick ass girlfriends to keep shit fun.
What’s your best advice?
My best advice to love life is to give yourself a break. Be kind in your mind and with your words. Ask for what you want. Do stupid shit that makes you laugh. Take risks and trust yourself. Do your best in every situation. If you fuck up, forgive yourself. When people piss you off, find a reason to thank them. Get to know your spirit. Plug into something greater than humanity.
Love Life Reading & Cocktail Launch takes place Tuesday, March 29th, 7PM at The Drake Hotel, North Lounge.
This is a free event. Books on sale for $25.