Hey, internet! In celebration of the just-completed year-end round-up of everything from the best films, music, Instagram’d meals, and “Freefalls sponsored by Redbull” of 2012, I thought it was about time I searched my heart for what exactly it is that turns me, and perhaps all of us, on about these numerical retrospectives. (Drumroll plz…)

Introducing: My top six reasons to love lists

6) They convert our cultural tastes into some kind of science!
Avril Kroeger-Lavigne was apt when she called us out on making “things so complicated.”  You’re right, Avril. Life isn’t black and white; we operate daily within myriad shades of grey (way more than 50 of ’em—sorry, E.L.). Life, especially in your twenties, can feel like a murky series of confusing events leading to an unknowable outcome. You’ve only got to read my journal (but you don’t want to, trust) to know how very baffling it can all be, and how many lessons are learned and unlearned on my Spirit Quest for love and serenity and success and is that too much to ask for, journal-with-a-picture-of-an-etched-deer-on-the-cover!!? Sooooo anytime someone can assign a numerical value to the culture of which I am a part, it is a huge source of comfort. Suddenly I am not lost in my Gen Y twentysomething wasteland, but am led to believe, if only for a moment, that everything is going to be alllllllllright, for hark! Someone has uncomplicated Life Itself, by organizing the year’s best house music tracks in ascending order!

5) Curate my past and future, would you?
Lists are good indicator of how I’ve spent my time in the past year. Have I been ingesting “the best” culture, or merely “any other” culture? Ask a list! And what better way to curate my time for next few months than by catching up on the crème de la crème of the recent past?!

4) I feel the pulse of Now
What’s everybody doing/reading/talking about? What better way to find out than via a list! A really good one will have a combination of mainstream and obscure offerings. Delight your family and friends with a bon mot on the rankings of both Taylor Swift and Holy Motors (together at last?).

3) They’re mostly non-threatening!
It’s a divisive time, politically. And as such, certain conversations can become incendiary quickly (me on Thanksgiving to my semi-conservative family: ”This baked potato looks like Harper!”) But there is something to be said for those forces that we can push up against, or ally ourselves with, which are relatively low-stakes. Sports fill this void for some, but personally, I relish getting behind certain cultural forces that I feel make up my tastes—and opposing those that don’t (eg. “Skyfall is #3 on this list of best Bond films and I [agree/disagree]. Pass the baked potatoes!”).

2) Anticipation
WUT GON’ B #1?!

1) NUMBER ONE
There’s something about having a definitive number one.  Maybe it’s finality, or closure: We did it! We lived through the year together and in its last moments, we not only counted it down in seconds, but we also counted it down in events, culture, art, photobombs, and pretty much everything else that happened more than once. Arriving at number one, there’s nowhere else to go but back to living life and creating those moments that we will wrap up and sort out next year. WE HAVE SHED OUR CULTURAL SNAKESKIN AND CAN BEGIN 2013 IN OUR NEW BEAUTIFUL SNAKE NAKEDNESS (SNAKEDNESS?). Likewise, we are all phoenixes and caterpillars and springtime and please stay tuned for next week when I countdown the five best rebirth metaphors of 2013.