Alright, this article has nothing to do with sex, gay or otherwise. But seeing as I haven’t had any sex (gay or otherwise) in I honestly can’t remember anymore, who am I to talk about it anyway? You know what I do do (haha) on a regular basis though? Work. I also get crazy bored. Mainly because my job sucks balls (a lot more than me — thank you, I’ll be here all week, tip your waitresses), I spend a lot of time on the interweb. Did you know that it can be used for non-pornography uses? Yeah, it was news to me too. Of course, these sites are few and far between so I thought I’d compile a few nice safe for work websites you can visit when you’re bored. I mean, you couldn’t possibly be when you’re on SDTC but after you’ve read every single article and clicked on all the ads, then you can ship on over to these others.

http://www.cracked.com
This site is great. They’ve got all sorts of lists (what a novel idea) on everything from "Top 10 Secret Scientologist Celebrities" to "The 10 Most Sexually Unappealling Craigslist Postings". Very good way to kill an afternoon.

http://www.torontolife.com/urban_decoder
The Urban Decoder is fucking fantastic. Whoever s/he is, they answer all these cool questions about Toronto sent in from locals. Did you know the ROM apparently has a room full of bugs that pick clean skeletons for display? Holy shit. I’m never going to the ROM again.

http://www.theonion.com
Fake news at its best. I have actually laughed out loud at a lot of these. Your co-workers might think you’re crazy, but that might also be the 800 pictures of your cats cluttering your cubicle. That’s neither here nor there. My favourites are the "Point-Counterpoint"… Like "My Computer Must Really Hate Me" vs. "God Do I Hate That Bitch", "It Was Then That I Carried You" vs. "Bullshit, Jesus. Those Are Obviously My Footprints", "Life Begins At Conception" vs. "Life Begins At Forty!". Hilarious!

http://www.avclub.com/content/hater
The AV Club is a sort of offchute of The Onion, and the best part of it, bar none, is Amelie Gillette’s The Hater. She hates at a PhD level. She drinks Haterade for breakfast. Actually, she doesn’t, so much as point out the idiotic shit in modern society with more acerbic wit than I could even hope to muster. But one day, and with a lot of copying of her style… A girl can dream!

http://www.dlisted.com
We all like celebrity gossip, but what I like less is people who are themselves celebrities for making fun of celebrities by putting coke trails under people’s noses they don’t like. Clever. Michael K of Dlisted is also a huge mo like that other gossip blogger, but he is actually funny. Bitchy, with an incredibly strange sense of pop culture. He’s done posts on: Dyann Cannon (the old chick from Ally McBeal with "neck waddle"), Shauna Sand (elegant princess who wears lucite heels), Michael Bolton, and his famous "Birthday Sluts" have included Steve Guttenberg, Robert Plant, Jackee, Danny Bonaduce… The list goes on. Makes for a better read than the latest shit some skank from The Hills is doing. Best of all, the dude updates constantly, so for us click and refreshers, it’s perfect.

http://www.collegehumor.com
The jokes are a bit juvenile (collegiate, if you will), but the "Hardly Working" videos series, when it’s funny, is brilliant. The video section is like YouTube, but filtered for the lazy internet surfer. Is that redundant?

http://boingboing.net
Very interesting blog that indluges the inner geek in all of us. The articles are compiled from a series of different blogs and websites. Think lots of articles on USB devices, tech toys, interesting news tidbits, and cool stuff about art installations around the world.

http://www.wired.com
As above, indulge your inner geek, you nerd. Sorry, it’s just that as a jock, it’s my duty to give nerds a hard time. It’s got some great articles about all our favourite gadgets and interesting how-to’s. Want to build a roof out of grass anyone? Tired of losing at rock paper scissors? Are you a handyman wanting to open that bottle of Opus One but just don’t have a corkscrew? Never fear, just use your hammer and nail and you’ll be drinking that fine vintage from your thermos in no time. Wired is the perfect diversion for you aspiring DIY-ers.

Anyway, hopefully this helps y’all kill the excruciating boredom that is "work". Happy surfing dudes and dudettes!