by Kristen Klempert
Call them friends with benefits, bene-friends, or even booty calls, casual more-than-friend relationships can be easy ways to endure the pleasure droughts that come between relationships. But as fabulous and convenient as they may sound, friends with benefit relationship can bruise friendships, egos, and emotions just like traditional relationships if you’re not careful. So from my own personal experience here are several guidelines for successfully fulfilling your carnal desires with someone who’s “just a friend.”

1. Be safe. I don’t need to lecture about STD’s or unplanned pregnancy. It’s a given especially when the relationship is casual by nature.

2. Know the limits. We all have beliefs on what types of intimacies and emotions are necessary for sexual acts. Some people are strictly no love, no sex people, while others have Pretty Woman-esque views saying kissing is too personal, but everything else is cool. Even if he doesn’t seem like the type, some things maybe out of bounds. Make sure you know what your partner is ok with and visa versa because if your comfort zones don’t overlap things will just be unproductively frustrating.

3. If he has a significant other, don’t even bother. Trust me, even if you don’t see him that way, someday he will choose his emotional relationship with her over his physical one with you. And you won’t be as okay with it as you think.

4. Know what you really want. There’s a difference between being horny and being lonely. If you want him to stay and share the paper and an omlette the morning after or to call you just because, you don’t want casual sex, you want a boyfriend. And as good as the physical stuff may be, you’re still going to want that other aspect.

5. That being said, never be more than friends with someone you want to date. Ninety-nine percent of the time the free-milk-cow analogy holds true, so don’t think that he’ll suddenly love you because you’re necking on a regular basis. It might be scarier, but taking the chance and just asking him out will save you from the inevitable heartbreak that comes after removing your skivvies when there’s no chance of the relationship going anywhere.

6. Be ready for things to change. When you start fooling around with a close friend the rules of engagement change. What might have formerly been only innocent flirting, could now be seen as an open invitation to jump you. This might be a welcome change, but others, such as how to behave in front of mutual friends, might be more difficult to traverse. Once he’s seen you naked it might not be as easy to hear him joke about how your new haircut looks or tell him how stressful work is. Know what in your relationship can change and what comforts you can’t get elsewhere. Booty call relationships have a shorter shelf life than friendships, so as soon what happens between the sheets negatively affects your friendship, walk away.