Okay, so this story should have been posted in the wake of Christmas shopping chaos, but I was too traumatized. And then I got caught up in resolution crap. Then I went to India. So bear with me while I rewind the clock and take you back to Dec 23 at Wal-mart. (I know, it’s not a trip you necessarily want to take. But you should because I have wisdom to share.)

Close your eyes and picture an aisle dedicated to mechanical toy dogs singing Jingle Bells, children having sword fights with rolls of wrapping paper, irritable couples arguing whether they need a Drummer Boy Penguin to hang on the tree. I tried to remain calm, but all I could hear was that haunting cackle, “You’ll shoot your eye out! You’ll shoot your eye out!” The creepiest of Christmas tales. Shiver. What the eff was I doing? The PayPal challllllllllange.

Here’s the dealio, PayPal gave me this challenge: Purchase $500 worth of gifts for a charity of my choice online and do the same at the mall and then compare and contrast the results. Duh, they want me to say how marvelous online shopping is, and how the only way to shop online is by using Paypal. That said, I had never tried online shopping before (truth) and figured giving $1000 to a charity at Christmas was definitely a good thing, so I said yes.

I consider myself to be a sensual person and so my gut instinct was that I would prefer the experience of shopping at a mall, interacting with people and feeling the Christmas spirit versus gazing into my laptop, which I do all too often. WRONG! I was wrong and Paypal isn’t paying me to say that. In fact, I was shocked by how efficient the shipping was. All the gifts I had purchased online actually arrived before I even went to the mall.

Further, while breaking a sweat wearing a down jacket in hot pursuit of the ladies room, I went the wrong way and spent fifteen minutes racing from one end of the mall to the other only to line up for a stinky stall with toilet paper tossed like sparkly tree garlands. Beyond the in-store madness, I forgot where I had parked, had some jerk give me the finger, and amidst looking for my keys in mangled purse I nearly killed myself on ice.

What was the online experience like? Pyjamas, tea and soft tap-tapping on my keyboard. I had time to consider my purchases, PayPal made it easy as I didn’t have to fumble with my credit card numbers or hand over any personal info to god knows what hidden newsletter opt-in. It was, and I share this for you not for them, a very pleasant experience. I will save my sensual mall trip for other times of the year. For holiday mega-buying, I’m going to do the online thing.

Who got the loot? Red Door Shelter

The takeaway lesson? I think you know.