Weekend Ideas

Are you scared of clowns? Do you feel sorry for Milli Vanilli? Why does grilled cheese make you happy? Have you shagged on Dundas Street before? Ever tried eating fire? Faster Pussy Cat, KILL KILL!!

Spend some time this weekend considering the above.

THURSDAY

Hot Bed for Culture; hot seat for complimentary free SKYY Vodka. Join us by the window and tell us your favourite childhood memory over a couple of dirty martinis.
Drake Hotel, 1150 Queen St. West
9:30 PM

Film about lunch @ Smiling Buddha
Not sure exactly what to expect, but billed as a film about favourite lunches. In my opinion: fruit wrinkles, cream cheese and jam for pink heart sandwich, honey and peanut butter, ants on a log and viva puffs.

Following this you can pull out your favourite lunchbox dance moves: ravioli in a thermos, poke a straw through the tetra, TURKEY IN MY HAIR, TURKEY IN MY HAIR and the rice pudding jiggle.

Weirdest bar website ever:
http://www.smilingbuddhabar.com/
961 College St
7 – Last Call

7A – 11D Lyp Synch Smackdown – Gladstone Ballroom

Hosted by Keith Cole, this will be a raucous night where local artists and drama queens fake belt it on stage.

Remember when high school talent shows would consist of 14 lip synchs and then only one girl who sang Sarah McLachlan live? The best lip synchs I recall at my school were hands down: Nirvana: Smells like Teen Spirit, Salt n’ Peppa: Let’s Talk About Sex, and way back in elementary – Suzanne Vega – Tom’s Diner and Bruce Springsteen: Born in the USA. I actually recall the first and last names of the people who performed in all these – and this is dating way back to ’88. Should I find them on facebook and do a major creep out saying “Remember when you did that lip synch in grade three…” WHOAH – who’s this weirdo?

1214 Queen West
9-`12, Ballroom
$11

FRIDAY

SINS OF SUPERVIXEN @ BLOOR

Are you a fan of cinematic pervert Russ Mayer? Rue Morgue is hosting a special screening at the Bloor of FASTER PUSSY CAT – KILL KILL! AND for all of you horror fanatics out there, Turu Santana will be there to introduce film and do a Q&A. FIGHTS, BREASTS and COOL CARS!

Check out a scene from this cult classic on our home page:
www.shedoesthecity.com

$13 ADVANCE from RUE-MORGUE.COM
$15 AT THE BLOOR CINEMA DOOR
Bloor Cinema : 506 Bloor Street West
9PM

MOTOWN PARTY @ 751 QUEEN ST

When I hear a solid Motown song like "Tracks of My Tears" by Smokey Robinson and The Miracles, I just want to make pasta in my kitchen with good friends and side check them with my left hip, clap and shuffle to the fridge to get a tomato. It makes me feel happy, safe and really smooth.

Wear a short shiny get up and tease your hair high, cause you are in for a treat.

$10 pitchers
cheap bar rails
751 Queen West

SEX ON DUNDAS @ THE CHELSEA ROOM

Obviously, this is a night conceived to provocatively state that ‘we aren’t at the bar to dance, but to pick up’. Get down to business already. Click on the myspace below for local group Northern Yonge, and listen to the song WEST END SUNSHINE. I promise you will enjoy; I can’t decide whether it’s awful or amazing. (all about hanging in the west end of Toronto)
923 Dundas
10 – 1
http://www.myspace.com/the8485
http://www.myspace.com/northernyonge

SATURDAY

MASSIVE GARAGE SALE IN MY PARKING PAD

We are cleaning out the basement, which means the coolest crap you’ve ever laid eyes on will be for sale this Saturday at my house. Pinball machine, motorcycle helmet, miniature toy camper van, weird suitcases, fun hats, roller skates, giant signs, creepy dolls – this is one yard sale you don’t want to miss! Plus, Raymi The Minx and I will be selling lemonade for cheap. Join the Saturday festivities! (and I’m not kidding about those hot items…we really do have a pinball machine for sale)

MY GARAGE SALE: Be the coolest kid in town with this vintage bike

MY GARAGE SALE: Always wanted a giant sign?

MY GARAGE SALE: Jukebox – AMAZING!

MY GARAGE SALE: PINBALL WIZARD!

32 Mackenzie Cres
Toronto, ON
8AM – 3PM

Shit La Merde
The usual shit show will be happening at Sneaky Dee’s with local heroes La Merde, PAMMM and Monsieur Dougie Boom.
Queen and Bathurst, you know the drill

FUN LIVE MUSIC
Kubilee Presents Woodhands, Lioness and Vitaminsforyou @ Burroughs Building Art Space
639 Queen St. West

The Burroughs building is a great space for a party – so come.

Woodhands
http://www.myspace.com/woodhands

Lioness
http://www.myspace.com/lionesslionesslioness

vitaminsforyou (DJ set)
http://www.myspace.com/vitaminsforyou

UKULA DJ’s
http://www.ukula.com/

8PM – 1AM
$5

THIS SATURDAY IS GAY DAY AT CANADA’S WONDERLAND
Are you gay? Do you like rides? Head north to some good times in Vaughan. As mentioned before, the BEHEMOTH totally lives up to the hype.

Zine Dream 1
40 local artists and zinesters
Zines are so cool. I got passed one last night and really enjoyed flipping through the pages and seeing handwritten articles. I don’t even know how to cursive write anymore.

In high school, a crew of girls and I, had a rebellious little zine called JACKASS. We were called into the principles office and chastised for using the school photo copy machines to duplicate such filth and our zine “JACKASS” was banned. So we started a new one, JOHN BUM. Brats. The best thing about the zine was that somehow all of our fathers contributed weird stories too.

Usually at these types of events, you will also find cool buttons, cupcakes and sassy underwear – in my experience.

PWYC
12 – 6 pm
292 Brunswick

SUNDAY

PS. KENSINGTON
Smell fish, get hassled to purchase dry fruit, watch as punks try to ruin PS Kensington with blaring angsty music and find some cool jeans.
GO.

ALL WEEKEND LONG

BUSKER FEST!
Head down to St. Lawrence Market and watch the human knot tie himself up, or stop by Rob William’s stand, man who broke the world record for fastest bologna sandwich made by feet EVER! Creepy clowns, silver Elvis mime, pyromaniac, marionette masters and much more.

Treat yourself to one of those delish St. Lawrence peameal sandwiches while you wander around checking out the odd and eccentric.

More Info: http://www.torontobuskerfest.com/