52nd annual Grammys; the Fashion Awards

-Zoe Shapiro 

When the musical dust has settled and the awards have all been handed out (poor, deserving MGMT, huh?) FASHION is left… We at SheDoesTheCity felt the need to recognize and ridicule on a separate sartorial scale (which Ms. Swift might appreciate given her pitchy snooze of a performance; where’s Kanye when you need him!?). Et Voila…

MOST INTERGALACTIC AWARD

We always knew she must be from another planet. 

BEST USE OF WARDROBE AS FORESHADOWING

See Pink dress as raincloud on the red carpet. Fast forward to Pink making it rain in the Staples Centre with her acrobatic performance (did Nicole Kidman realize she was in the splash zone? Let’s hope the face held up….) 

BEST I’M-NEVER-GETTTING-AN-OSCARS-INVITE-SO-I’LL-GO-FOR-AN-OSCARS-LOOK 

Thanks Keri Hilson, for reaffirming my Little Mermaid Evening Gowns range is a totally legitimate idea. Actually, this was one of my fave gowns of the night, sexy and sweet. 

BORING IN BLACK AWARD

She was also in black at the Haiti telecast. Is this a Queen Victoria mourning thing still? If so, perhaps I’m going to hell. But if it’s just safe fashion choices, then maybe she should….. 

BOMBSHELL IN BLACK AWARD

Hey Big Bang Theory girl. Not sure what your role is at the Grammys but I appreciate the salute to the navel grazing Grammy tradition originated by one JLO. Especially if la Lopez sees you and realizes her day is done. Take your Louboutins and hit the block Jenny. 

NUCLEAR BOMBSHELL IN BLACK AWARD

Ciara, this ain’t lovely or sexy or magic. It’s just confusing my retinas. Honourable mention goes to Britney who went for aging-hooker-chic

THE SUAVE AWARD

As a rule I don’t think grown men should be blonde. It just doesn’t make sense. But the eyeglass tux combo is speaking to me Simon Baker…..

BEST MAKEUP AWARD

Carrie Underwood, looking fresh as a daisy after 8 hours in the makeup chair I’m sure…

WORST MAKEUP AWARD

We get it honey, you’re gritty. Time for a shower. The bad flapper dress is made worse by the matching blonde extensions and poor shoe choice. Big Fail, all round.

THE YUM AWARD

Funky suit. Bald head. What up Common? 

THE WTF AWARD

Surely you need to at least be uber-famous to even excuse showing up in an ensemble comme ca? Who is this chick? And why is she wearing a bat-mitzvah reject dress?

BEST BOOBIE AWARD

Goes to the Queen of yummy mummyhood, natch.

WORST BOOBIE AWARD

Ahhh! Robot nipples! Perhaps a bra Malin Akerman?

WEIRDEST OUTFIT INSPIRATION AWARD

Oh Sasha Fierce. SIGNS was not a good movie, why turn it into a dress? And why accessorize it with My Little Pony hair sparkles? I do not get it.

OVER-IT AWARD

I really do appreciate that she seems to be a well-mannered, panty-wearing option for the young’ins and that she writes her own stuff blah blah blah…. But her repetitiveness no longer just applies to her ‘I have a crush’ songs. We know you like sparkles Taylor and you’re always well styled and age appropriate but get a new gimmick girlfriend.  

Who also knocked it out (Sugarland’s Jennifer Nettles)? Who tanked (Rihanna)? Who did I forget? (Miley and Fergie; big collective ‘meh’)? What was your favourite?

1 Comment

  1. Anonymous
    February 3, 2010

    LOVE love LOVE the awards… i mean really, who is that girl in the reject batmitzvah dress?!?!?…. been reading all of your posts lately and have definitely enjoyed the wit and the UK in toronto edge!! more please!

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