This week: When you have no money and all your friends are rich.

Q:  I have the least money of all my friends. How do I get them to stop suggesting restaurants, drink places and group activities that are way out of my price range and focus on just spending time together in a way we can all afford?

A: First off, let’s be clear about something: there should be absolutely no shame in simply stating to your friends “I’m on a tight budget this month.” That’s all you need to say! You don’t need to reveal your debt or complain about your freelance life or resent their constant insistence on fine dining. That said, I know sometimes it’s tricky and I have felt a bit embarrassed at times to turn down a dinner invite. But paying for steak tartar and wine instead of your Amex bill is just silly. Don’t add unecessary stress and financial strain to your life! Okay, so what to do instead? SO MUCH!

Themed Dinner Parties and Potlucks!

Dinner parties are way more fun anyways! Host or suggest a potluck and make a terrific salad for less than $10 or homemade guacomole and chips! A cheese plate can be expensive but there is a lot you can make for really cheap that everyone will love. If you feel like suggesting a potluck makes you sound like a cheapo (IT DOESN’T) then invite your friends to an Italian Opera Masquerade Dinner Party. Dress in black lace, blare Don Giovanni, answer the door in a mask and feed your friends spaghetti with a killer bolognese and tell them to supply the vino and tiramisu. Everyone will love.

Urban Adventures

Have you ever met a friend at Honest Ed’s for an evening wander? It’s better than a fun house in Niagara Falls. Meet ahead of time at David’s Tea and take your time finding a tea you really love (I’m loving Sleigh Ride and Cookie Dough at the moment) and then spend an hour winding around Honest Ed’s laughing. You’ll probably end up finding something you need, like Qtips.

Everyone forgets about Allens Gardens. It’s like you took a vacay to the Amazon Jungle but it’s actually just a greenhouse at Carleton and Parliament. 

Go wild in the P.A.T.H. Smoke a joint and play hide and seek in Toronto’s underground shopping mall.

Pretend you’re a tourist and spend $3 on a bus token to a place you’ve never been. Grab cheap Indian at Lahore Tikka in Little India or go to Lawrence Ave West for some authentic Jamaican jerk chicken. While you’re there, explore the neighbourhood and get your bangs cut for free or buy a bag of rice. Or whatever.

Free Cultural Happenings!

You do not have to pay to go to local galleries. Hit Queen West or The Distillery District when galleries are open or go to some exhibition openings on a Thursday evening. You can grab noodles ahead of time or a pint following and talk about the art or your sex life or the latest novel you’re engrossed in….and this will be a fabulous date.

AGO is FREE on Wednesday evenings and for $10 you can attend a wicked art party on the first Thursday of every month.

Winter Fun!

DJ Skate Night at Harbourfront. This is cool, fun and different. The only cost is skate rentals…and a cocoa, which you’ll probably want.

Grab a fucking cardboard box and slide down a hill. Can life get any better?

Gather your friends for a fondue party! It’s as easy as melting chocolate and slicing a banana and ripping open a bag of mallows. Or you can get fancy with cheese and bread crumbs.

You know what quality time is? Walking and talking with a friend. I guarantee you’ll catch up more on an afternoon walk in High Park than you would with fifteen people crowded around a dinner table in a hip (LOUD) restaurant.

TV Nights!

I remember fondly when my group of friends gathered every Wednesday to order take out and jeer at the contestants on America’s Next Top Model. That was years ago, but guess what, GIRLS premieres Jan 13th!! Would this not be an excellent way to ensure you see your friends every week? Laugh, cry from laughing, share vagina tales and enjoy Chinese food, together. #Awwww.

Back to your question, you may not get your friends to stop suggesting expensive restaurants as a plan but you can counter their pricey ideas with some really interesting and fun options. Sometimes having less money is stressful but it doesn’t mean you have less fun. Personally, an afternoon at Honest Ed’s with a David’s Tea sounds much more appealing to me than a loud and packed King West restaurant on a Saturday night. Get creative and you’ll find that the possibilities of city adventure are endless. If your friends are only willing to hit the trendy hot spots, then they’re probably boring and you should find some new friends.

Send questions to jenmcneely@shedoesthecity.com. All correspondence will be confidential. 

~ Jen McNeely