Dear MJ, 

My boyfriend only ever wants to have sex from behind. He says he can’t cum any other way. We used to try other positions but for the last few months this has been it. It feels good and all but I’m getting bored with the same old routine and am starting to get self-conscious wondering if it’s because he doesn’t want to look at me. 

Distressed by doggy style 

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Dear Doggie Distressed, 

Of course he wants to look at you! He just wants to see you from a different angle, that’s all… 

Excuse me, but the last time I checked, there were (at least) two people involved in the act. So why does he get to make all the rules? 

If you ask a room full of guys what their favourite position is, most will say “doggie style”. Why? Well, there’s the domination aspect, plus the unobstructed view of your ass and pink parts and the fact that they “like to see their wang go in and out”, as my friend Joey says. I get that. I also think there could be something to do with intimacy (or in this case, lack thereof). Sex with someone you really care about can make a person feel very vulnerable and many of us aren’t comfortable being so ‘exposed’. Let’s give your fella the benefit of the doubt and assume it’s a healthy combination of the all those things. Even then, nobody likes a selfish lover and that’s exactly what he’s being.  

From behind is sort of the ‘go to’ move. It’s a guaranteed good time for both parties, feels great and doesn’t require any real acrobatic skill. However, even the best meal loses its appeal if served every single night! Your guy should know this. And he should care.  

My advice: call his bluff. Next time he tries to mount you, refuse to assume the position. Stick to your guns. When given no other choice, I’m guessing he’ll find some other way of cumming pretty damn quickly. After all, if he’s just going to be about pleasing himself, tell him to save you the trouble and stay home and jerk off alone!  

Yours in forever love,

MJ