by Monica Heisey and Kait Fowlie
Dads are always being portrayed on TV as these bumbling idiots who don’t really help around the house and are confused by the basics of child-rearing. This is a raw deal for dads everywhere, as many—case in point, mine—are not like that at all. Entering the phase of my life where macaroni picture frames and hand-made coupons for doing the dishes and making my bed are no longer acceptable Father’s Day gifts is also kind of a burn—those things say “Thanks for raising me and giving me life and all that” way better than a tie and with a lot less concern over colour choice. We’ve compiled a list of gifts for dads, from the frivolous to the fancy so you’re prepared this June —. [WHAT DAY IS FATHER’S DAY? TERRIBLE DAUGHTER ALERT]
What: “Special Occasion” Booze
Why it’s great: It can be drunk that night to celebrate Father’s Day or saved up for another special event together. A longer-lasting bottle like whiskey will evoke fond memories of you and your parent-child bonding every time it’s poured. Also, drinking with family is one of the greatest perks of being 19+. (Maybe that’s just me.)
Where to get it: the LCBO
How Much: A bottle of fancy red wine like Chateau Neuf du Pape (http://lcbo.com/lcbo-ear/lcbo/product/details.do?language=EN&itemNumber=71381 ) will set you back $79.00 while some good quality scotch like 15 year old Benriach Madeira Finish Single Scotch (http://lcbo.com/lcbo-ear/lcbo/product/details.do?language=EN&itemNumber=164566) is $99.95. A classic Canadian Club is always appreciated, 750 ml for $25.
What: Beatles Box set in Mono
Why it’s great: How he originally listened to the Beatles—almost. The box set of the Fab Four’s complete works features CD versions of every LP, complete with original album art and inserts.
Where to get it: HMV
How much: $169.99
What: “The Man Can”
Why it’s great: Whether your dad is actually super macho or more likely to take this as a joke, he’s still gotta bathe. This is directly off the label: “Contains: 1 bar of manly soap, 1 extra spicy shaving gel, 1 very masculine bay rum oil, 1 really scratchy body mitt, 1 jar of fisherman’s hand butter (there’s nothing manlier than a fisherman)”. It comes in a paint tin that you have to tear open with an attached metal thing. MEN.
Where to get it: Indigo Gifts
How much: $49.99
What: Leather bound photo album
Why it’s great: ‘Leather bound’ automatically equals ‘distinguished’, am I right? Poppa Ron Burgundy knows what I’m talking about, but non-Anchorman dads will appreciate a collection of family memories more than what they’re bound in. Dad, we’re thankful you aren’t on Facebook.
Where to get it: Blacks’ Photography
How much: $56.99
What: Weber’s “Way to Grill”
Why it’s great: The New York Times best-seller is perfect for June, and provides a step-by-step guide to grilling like a pro. Dads and barbecues go together like facebook and pictures you don’t want future employers to see, am I right?
Where to get it: Indigo
How much: $27.50
What: Shark Salt and Pepper Set
Why it’s great: House wares for him are hard to come across, (it is a sad reality that the shelves of Williams and Sonoma are often littered with ceramic hens and the like) but this shark Salt and Pepper set sort of says seasoning with attitude.
Where to get: Up To You, 1483 Queen St. East
How much: $40.00
What: Personal Rooftop Garden
Why it’s great: This nifty planter would make anyone feel like the king of their castle. Growing your own herbs is not only a great way to be self sufficient and eco friendly, but also an easy way to get in touch with nature on a domestic scale!
Where to get it: Up To You, 1483 Queen St East
How much: $120.00
What: Ice Cream Maker Ball
Why it’s great: Portable ice cream you guys. PORTABLE ICE CREAM. A fun camping or picnic treat, you can make a pint of ice cream in twenty minutes by rolling this ball around with some ice, salt and cream in it.
Where to get it: Indigo
How much: $35.99
What: Magno AM/FM hand crafted radio
Why it’s great: Does your dad have cumulating boxes of old records in the basement? or a collection of vintage radios? If so, this one of a kind bad boy, hand made in an Indonesian farming village, will probably excite him greatly. Made from naturally harvested wood, this gift is ideal for the nostalgic techie or design keener.
Where to get it: Ministry of the Interior, 80 Ossington Ave.
How much: $295.00 (a gift from you and your sibling)
What: Harry Allen Designer Cast Hand (aka….a really cool hook)
Why it`s great: The gift of practicality and style. Help your dad keep his shit together by providing him with a helping hand (literally) that juts out of the wall as a spot to put his keys for safe keeping.
Where to get it: Ministry of the Interior, 80 Ossington ave.
How much: $94.00
What: Gransfors Axes from Sweden
Why its great: Whoever said the modern urban man has no need for a casual axe? These beautifully forged tools have oiled hickory handles and grain leather sheaths. Treat your dad to these well designed specimens – after all, every man has a Christian Bale complex, right?
Where to get it: Lee Valley
How much: $115.00 and up
What: NXT Golf Balls
Why its great: Personally, I maintain that golf is an excuse to get wasted on a Sunday morning, but there is nothing wrong with that, and lots of Dad`s are pretty serious about it. This new golf ball provides the straightest flight within the Titleist family, and is also the most durable.
Where to get it: Sportchek
How much: $29.99
What: Rawlings Player Preferred 13’ Fielder Glove
Why its great: Oh the nostalgic concept of playing catch. If you never indulged your father with America’s favourite past time, all is not lost! Get out there in the backyard and have some brews with pops and throw some things around.
Where to get it: Sport Chek
How much $79.99
What: Bill Bryson – A Walk in the Woods
Why its great: This humorous travel writer decided to walk the Appalachian trail in 2005, and he wrote a marvelously comical book about it. This is travel lit to inspire and educate even the most unadventurous of dads.
Where to get it: Chapter Indigo
How much: $ 11.39
What: TOM TOM GPS
Why its great: Even if your dad isn’t one of those types who refuses to ask for directions, GPS takes travel to another level. It’s even better than having a portable mapquest in the car with you – its like having an omnipresent navigating fairy godmother with a nice accent.
Where to get it: Best Buy
How much: $129.99