Lady Gaga + Relentless Tour Schedule = Bad Romance
by Valerie Siebert

“Get well Gaga” tweets are currently fogging up the twitter sphere after the “Bad Romance” singer collapsed shortly before hitting the stage at Purdue University, West Lafayette, Indiana last night, causing her to cancel an hour before show time.

In an apology over twitter our Lady made clear that she hoped her “little monsters” would forgive her and that she would never cancel a show simply due to discomfort, but rather is seemingly under doctors orders to avoid exerting herself and operating heavy machinery, in other words, her entire stage production and likely a few of her more encumbering Gaga garments. She went on to say that paramedics told her that her “heart-rate was irregular– a result of exhaustion and dehydration”. With all the crazy she could muster, she begged to be let back onstage after passing out, but was halted by those inconsiderate members of her road crew who worried for her safety, the bastards.

I’m not entirely convinced that this was a matter of fatigue, but rather could be the result of a moment of lost poise, perhaps a hefty chapeau-related balance bereavement?