Yes, I know. It’s harrrrd! Dressing for a Holt Renfrew fashion party comes with a certain amount of pressure, especially when your closet is full of H&M, moth-holed sweaters, shoes that the dog has chewed and coats with missing buttons. But after frequenting my fair share of these soirees, I have tips!! GOOOOOD TIPS!!
When you aren’t sure how to dress for a fashion week fashion party from our finest fashion retailer, here’s what you do:
• Wear leopard print anything. You can even mix cheetah with zebra and a faux fur scarf. Be an animal and wear it with scandalous rouge lips. Easy. ROAR!
• Put as many bracelets as you can on one arm. It doesn’t matter if they are neon green and plastic…in fact..wear that and you’ll get compliments. Throw ‘em all on! Your souvenirs from Costa Rica mixed with Ardene shit: PERFECT!
• Wearing patterns that look like a busy rug is very in. Got any tapestries hanging around? Scarves that you use to decorate a wall? WEAR IT! But you gotta strut confidently to pull this one off.
• Mix graphic patterns. Whoever told you that stripes don’t go with chevrons? Or polka dots and ikat clash? If you’re going to do it, go alllll the way. When someone tells you you look great just be all “I know right? I just decided to go CRAZY!! This is my crazy graphic mixing look!!! HAHA! It’s insane and I love it.” This is a very common statement that will make you fit right in.
• Got a bright onesie? Just throw on some gold and you’re done. Be a statement colour. YELLOW. RED. Only one colour with a touch of bling.
• Find something that can hang around your neck and make your own weird necklace. Old cassette tape! Wear a purse as a necklace! Hang a doll upside down with ribbon! Key chain! These are all brilliant ideas and the more clunky and heavy it looks the more you will get photographed. Feathers and shiny always win.
• If all else fails, then rock the “I don’t give a shit” look by wearing your dirty Chucks, your greasy hair, some Value Village K-way and a baseball hat. You know how this look turns FASHION FABULOUS?? Bright lipstick and blue nails. That’s it! It’s so easy!!!!
~ Jen McNeely