Oh hi! Yeah, no, I’m still in my pajamas. Well, it’s 8 am! And I was sleeping until you took it upon yourself to walk up and down the halls of the dorm knocking on doors reminding people about the Rez Olympics. But I’m so glad you did, really! My t-shirt? Oh, I’m allergic to blended fabrics, yeah, total bummer. It was really hard for me during high school intramurals. Oh, you’re lactose intolerant? So you totally get it! That ice cream social must have sucked for you! Hahahahaha no, I wasn’t there.

That poster? No, it’s my roommate’s. I know, Pink Floyd, so great. Sadly I missed the poster sale. A Fear and Loathing poster? Great score! They’re holding it again next semester? Big relief for this gal. Yes, maybe I’ll borrow some of your sticky tac then. These cinder block walls, amirite?

So, about those Rez Olympics. I mean, since I can’t wear the t-shirt or anything, I should probably just go find some coffee and cheer you guys on from the sidelines here in my bed, bingeing on Netflix. Really, it’s better for everyone this way. I’ve built enough teams to know that I’m just going to slow you guys down. It’s just not my forte. Oh, I know those life-long friendships won’t make themselves! And I’m sorry to hear you guys had such a hard time coming up with a “Frosh Name” for me, but Ponygirl is really great. Because I wore that ponytail to orientation, I know! Anyway, I really want to save up my energy for the graffiti party tonight, you know? Yeah, with my allergies, I don’t know what I’ll wear. Maybe I’ll just stay home and hope that my shared file folder on the dorm server speaks for itself. See you on the quad, Todd!