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An imperfect life guide for women
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How to tell you’re about to get dumped

We’ve all been dumped at some point in our lives, right? And there were times when it seemed to have come out of nowhere. Though our instincts may be telling us that our significant other or lover or whatever-the-fuck is about to dump you, either we choose to ignore that gut feeling, or chalk it up to paranoia. More often than not, though, there are external signs that are there to back up this bad feeling. If you know what to look for, you can either beat the expected dumpee to the punch, or work on ways to keep it from happening.

1. Critical Thinking
If your significant other starts criticizing everything you do, and no longer finds certain qualities of yours endearing, you’re as good as done. According to Melvyn Frumkes, an attorney specializing in divorce, "a person who picks nonsensical arguments is trying to get the other person (you) to make the first move."

2. Change in Phone Habits
Either the calls are becoming less frequent, or your partner is rushing through your phone conversations, or, in general, there’s a drastic change in their phone habits, it could mean this person wants out, or that this person is starting to feel smothered. You could either end it before he/she does, or make yourself less available in the hopes that they’ll snap out of it.

3. Change of Face
A sudden change in his/her appearance, such as new wardrobe, hairdo, weight loss, or even plastic surgery, could mean that this person is ready to move on or that he/she is trying to impress someone. More often than not, I’m sorry to say, that “someone” isn’t you. In other words, if your partner suddenly has a new nose, something’s up.

4. You’re Always Kept Waiting
If your lover keeps you waiting, it’s not only a sign that his/her interest is waning, but a sign of disrespect. For example, if he/she waits until the last minute to make a date with you, this could mean that they are waiting to see if there’s something better to, and you are being used as a back-up plan.

5. Pat on the Back
If you get a little pat on the back when your partner gives you a hug, this is an indication that he/she is uncomfortable. Or if your partner gives you the one shoulder hug, or worse yet, pulls away too quickly, this could mean that he/she is getting ready to break off the relationship.

6. Check out the Feet
According to body language expert Patti Wood, MA, CSP, when you’re out with other people, you should look at your partner’s feet. "If they are pointed at you, great. If they’re pointed at someone else, your partner may be looking to walk."

7. Lack of Open Windows
Again, according to body language expert Wood, a person who is about to dump you will display a lack of open "windows" towards you. "Windows" being his/her heart, eyes, neck and palms. "If your man/woman turns the center of his/her chest away from you as you are talking to each other, it’s a big sign he’s/she’s no longer interested."

8. No Plans
Whether your partner refuses to make plans for the summer, or plans for the weekend, this could mean that he/she refuses to make plans for the future. Period. While to you the future might mean next week, this same future to them equals commitment, and commitment equals fear.

9. No Sex
If your man/woman is no longer interested in sex, this could mean a couple of things. Either he/she wants to avoid intimacy or anything that involves having to express emotion, or he/she is getting it somewhere else. What’s worse still, if he/she has suddenly become more skilled in certain sexual areas, or has a few new tricks up their sleeves, this could be an indicator that they’re learning it from someone else. Unless, of course, this person is sex obsessed and devotes a lot of their time to research.

10. He/She Needs SPACE
Ah, my favorite! The ol’ “I need space” line. Though usually it’s a safe bet to interpret this as “I want to dump you,” sometimes it can mean “You’re suffocating me. Back off.” If you truly feel that it is the latter, then, by all means, back off, or else you really will get dumped.

If there’s a sudden change in your partner’s behavior, and you are at a point in your relationship where you feel comfortable discussing your concerns, then it might be best to do just that instead of jumping to conclusions. But if it’s early on in the dating stage and you really feel that your lover is looking to call it quits, then save yourself the humiliation and be the one to dump him/her first.

5 comments
Tammy
Tammy

Thanks so much for the nice comment. It's great that you trusted your insticts and confronted him. Far too often I have dismissed my insticts, thinking I was just being paranoid. But in the end, I'd discover that I was right after all.

Jen H.
Jen H.

This article is very accurate! One time I knew I was going to get dumped because of a short email... and I was right. I saw him and said "You're going to break up with me, aren't you?" and he said "How did you know?" It was like the phone thing in this piece... I could just tell.

Tammy
Tammy

Hmmm...perhaps I should stick to sex tips.

Anonymous
Anonymous

There are a couple useful tidbits in there. Stop being such a Catty Patty.

Anonymous
Anonymous

And this is why no one should ever take relationship advice from magazine/online articles.