Before the Mango show, Robin Kay got her hands on the mic and rambled about our great country, how the VIA rail trains in our mountainous terrain are exceptional – and how we are writing the Canadian book on fashion. Sitting across from Toronto’s top tier of media, I had quite the show. As Kay passionately slurred words, Jeanne Beker put on a show of many faces. They began as rolled eyes, mocking laughs and snide sneers and progressed to angry brows and full on rage. Although she’d certainly make the best mime, out of the media on south side of room, she was not alone. FT’s Glen Baxter took off, Shinan Govani squirmed, and Hello Canada’s Ciara Hunt bit her tongue. Others giggled in an uncomfortable way like when you watch someone walk around the room with toilet paper stuck on their shoe. Finally, someone pulled Kay off the stage and the very unimpressive Mango show commenced. Like the intro speech, this show seemed to carry on for days and didn’t exhibit one piece of spring collection but rather it appeared as if someone tore through the mall earlier that day and grabbed the most mediocre knits and trenches that $50 can buy. Whatever – it didn’t matter as no one was watching the show because Jeanne Beker was putting on a better one. I read her lips; they said “THIS IS NOT WHAT FASHION IS ABOUT”, which escalated to “I’M LEAVING, I’M LEAVING, I’M FUCKING LEAVING”. There was cuckoo person signals (when you twirl your finger around ear) gestured to pals across the catwalk and these actually escalated too to a neck throttling motion. LIVID. At the end of the show, Monica Cruz was introduced (Penelope’s sister). We all clapped but she didn’t come out. Oh well, by that time Jeanne had already stormed out. FABULOUS FUCKING FASHION DRAMA – there are three f-words for you.