Dear MJ, 

My boyfriend wants to pee on me. At first I thought he was joking but have since realized he’s serious. What should I do? 


Puzzled by Pee


Dear Puzzled, 

Ah, the infamous Golden Shower. Or, the “R Kelly” as I’ve heard it called in some circles.

If this topic ever comes up at a party, it’s amazing to see how quickly the room divides. Half find it completely disgusting and the rest don’t see the big deal.  

As I always say, the best thing about being in a committed relationship is that this is where the real exploring gets to happen. It’s the place we are free to share our fantasies and unleash our sexuality in a safe and trusting environment. It just so happens that your boyfriend’s fantasy is to empty his bladder on you.  

As long as you’re not compromising your beliefs or doing something you really don’t want to or are uncomfortable with (which I would never endorse), I say go for it! It’s the kind of thing you can do in the shower fairly easily. Just run the water at the same time and it’ll be gone before you know it. He’ll be happy, you’ll be relieved and then the two of you can move onto the next thing. 

Here’s a story I have on good authority:

A certain very well known musician (who’s name I shan’t mention although I really am dying to) took an unassuming female back to his hotel room. After shagging her rotten, he stood next to the bed and announced that he had to take a leak. His companion of the moment lay there assuming he’d be back shortly. But then he said: “tell me you love my music” Confused. “Excuse me?” she asked. He repeated himself. “I love your music” she replied as he pissed all over her.   

Hey, at least your guy asked! 

Yours in never-ending love,