by Keri O’Meara
You know that hangover, the one where all you can do is eat? By eat I mean consume only grease, fat and meat. Well I get those a lot. So I was super excited when Stampede Bison Grill moved into my Queen West Hood. My first mistake was going sans hangover, but eating as if I had one. The two bricks in my stomach after completion of my meal were just not worth it.

After purchasing a cheap bottle of tempranillo at the Brock liquor store next door, I joined the hungry herd in line at Stampede. The young woman behind the counter wearing a brim flipped cap- circa early Fresh Prince of Belair episodes- was hurried and answered my questions reluctantly. I am sorry but wouldn’t you inquire about the sign saying “try our dangerously deliciously dark rum milkshake?”

“Ugh, it’s a vanilla milkshake,” she said, “with a shot of dark rum,” as if I had just asked the sum of two plus two.

I ordered the name sake. From the vast selection of toppings I chose grilled red pepper, sautéed onions and mushrooms, lettuce, tomato, ketchup mustard and stampede mayo.

“It like mayo with barbeque sauce.” Duh.

For every extra topping you get beyond your standards, it’s an extra fifty cents, including said mayo/barbeque sauce mixture.

I also ordered the poutine- how could I not?

And then I waited. And I waited some more and then I waited some more and watched people who had ordered after me walk out with their liquor store bags in one hand and greasy brown paper bags in the other. 90210 was on in half an hour I was getting antsy, not to mention hungrier than a hippo.

I asked fly girl how much longer it would be. After much fumbling and the pink haired girl at the grill swearing the order had gone out, my chit was found on the floor.

Ten minutes later after many sincere apologies and a coupon to come back and eat on the house (which with burger and poutine you can do for the price of 12 dolla) I was out the door, salivating as I rushed home to catch up with those crazy kids from Beverly Hills.

My mouth already bitter with disappointment, (I had to settle for dancing with the stars-apparently election coverage is more important than spoiled rich kids with relationship problems) I bit into a dry burger. In my hunger haste I had forgotten that bison is a tricky meat. It’s lean and tends to be quite dry. But if you have bison in your business name, you should probably make it your business to make that bison juicy.

The veggie based poutine on the other hand was de -fricken- licious and a complete meal in itself. Also, I have heard that the salads are great and at three dollars and change you can’t really go wrong. I am a sucker fro gluttonous punishment so, though it was not the best experience I will go back to Stampede Bison Grill. I want to try the beef burger and the veggie burger with tzatsiki and sprouts looks yummy. And who knows, maybe a vanilla milkshake with a shot of dark rum is a great hang over cure.