Every parenting book and guide stresses that every baby is an individual. That each baby will develop and reach milestones at their own individual pace. And that’s fine. For other babies. My baby is different. He is a genius. And he will break records, damn it.

According to some books, babies start crawling around the 7th month. Cy’s 7 months 3 weeks, and he’s not crawling yet. And he doesn’t have any teeth yet either. Not one!

I have a friend I met in prenatal yoga class whose son is the same age as Cy. Our identical due dates and a friend in common is what got us initially talking. Living in the same neighbourhood cemented the friendship – we go on weekly walks for the exercise and the adult conversation. But that ‘adult’ conversation inevitably always comes back to our babies – how they’re sleeping, how they’re eating, and how they’re teething. Yes, my friend’s son started teething in his 3rd month and now boasts an almost complete set of baby teeth.

Friend:1 Cy:0

My friend has been so wonderful. Not only is she super nice and so much fun to hang out with, she’s a great confidante and sounding board. Our weekly walks are also a time for us to exchange information. As first time moms – it helps to have someone going through the same thing as you. I am so grateful for our friendship. But having another baby to regularly compare Cy to can get the best of me sometimes. Like the whole crawling thing. Cy is sitting. And he does this hilarious thing when lying on his back – he tries to pull up to sitting but doesn’t quite make it so he just looks like he’s doing crunches. But he’s not crawling yet.

Friend:2 Cy:0

On the bright side, cy is blabbing da da da, and my friend’s son isn’t quite yet.

Friend:2 Cy:1

But I would be lying if I said I didn’t wish he was crawling already. I realize I’m going to eat my words the moment he starts cruising around the house and sticking his drooly fingers into electrical sockets. And I secretly wish I could just by-pass the whole baby gate stage all together. But I can’t help be a little jealous of my friend and her crawling son. I’m competitive by nature and like every parent on the face of the earth, I want my child to be the best. Is that so wrong? Don’t worry peeps – I’m not going to enter Cy into pageants or other contests. But now that I’m here, in Motherland, I can see how loving moms-next-door can quickly transform into terrifying stage momsters. Having a child is suddenly finding yourself with all this extra love just oozing out of you – like steroids for your spirit – and sometimes it’s just hard finding a way to channel it.

I gotta go. It’s time for Cy’s crawl training.