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THE BEST FIRST MOVE EDITION

THE QUESTION:
Guys, what’s the sexiest way a girl has ever made the first move with you?

THE FORUM:
Al Batrosse: Sometimes you get asked something so honest and smart on a date that it cuts through all the blather.

The sexiest move? I start to say goodnight under a streetlamp and quiet first date girl stops me with her finger and says, “Can I ask you a question? What exactly did you like about me enough to ask me out?” I can’t think of a reply and just blurt out, “Your eyes. So sorry that I can’t articulate it but we don’t seem to have any chemistry together when we talk and there was a whole lot of silence. I won’t natter on about it, I just don’t know what to say, sorry.” She looks at me for a long time and quietly laughs. “Well at least you are honest and you have nice eyes too”. She pauses and looks away and then smiles again at me. “You can kiss me and then maybe you won’t feel such a great need to say something.” We had a long hot romance, she just liked to think before speaking.

Van Stanley: There was a big party about 2 hours away at a friends cottage. The plan was for me to drive 4 people up on Friday night: 2 of my friends, this girl that I had been “fancying” and one of her friends. My friends ended up getting rides from someone else and when I showed up to pick the other 2 up, she was alone. Turns out she planned the whole thing (organized a ride for the other 3) so that we would have the two hour drive alone together. I have never had such good road head… er.. conversation in my life.

McFly: I don’t really have an answer for this. It’s usually pretty standard. Most girls that make aggressive first moves on me aren’t looking for lust, they’re looking for snuggle-company, and the aggressive first move is followed by aggressive texts to get together for an herb-infused beverage, and “get to know each other” when really, the only person I want to “get to know” is the shorty that won’t look at me (but still makes my heart melt) at the gym, library or 3 AM dance party at her girl’s house.

So “first-move girls” of the world, my advice to you: know your target and customize your approach. If he doesn’t look like a “relationship guy” then don’t think that some sexy first move is gonna change him – because it won’t – and even if he acts like it does, it’s because he just wants to get with you, and then play Jay-Z featuring Swizz Beats… ‘On To The Next One’.

Jensen: It never happens. Girls haven’t made a bold first move on me, let alone a “sexy” one. This either bespeaks my lack of desirability or an alarming cultural standard that I hope you, dear Letter Writer, intend to reverse. Sure, girls have initiated a hook-up to a small degree, or reciprocated interest in an obvious way; but I can think of no bold initiatave where I’ve been told, “I’m taking you home”, or “will you promise to fuck me later?” But why must men instigate sexual interaction? How anachronistic! So I say: fuck a social system governed by sexual laws that predate the Crimean War.

Be audacious. If you want a dude, be uncharacteristically resolute: “are you going to take me home?”, “do you want to fuck?” Graceful? Not really.. Effective? You bet your ass. Your lame friends might patronizingly misname your new approach “desperate”, but while they self-penetrate with their dildo named Chad, wishing that fling from last Saturday meant it when he said he’s call, you’ll be riding the night away, metaphorically and literally, on top of a new fling you began.

A woman of the new millenium, indeed!

Valmont: To be honest, no girl’s ever really full-on hit on me. The only time i can remember was when I was at a McGill fashion show and some brown chick asked me if I was in the show because I looked like a model – but I could almost smell the puke on her breath and walked away without saying anything. So I guess I would have to say inviting me over for a joint.

2 comments
tse
tse

Jensen seems like a keeper.