You’re a grown-ass woman. You’ve worked hard, you’ve saved some money, you’ve made some plans. You can go to Europe—or Thailand or L.A or Calgary, whatever, it’s your life—and you don’t need to come back until you want to! Or until the governing authorities of that country’s border control force you out, whichever comes first. Running off for territories unknown is the prerogative of young ladies who can and want to do so, and who wouldn’t? Here’s how to pack before you set off for strange and distant lands.

1)     Matchy-matchy, mes amies

Try to keep everything you’re bringing with you in the same colour-family. This means that every item you pull out of your suitcase can be worn with everything else, so that if a certain shirt gets dirty/goes missing/is abandoned on the floor of a wealthy Italian man’s villa on the Amalfi, you can easily wear something else with those jeans.

2)     Rollin’ in the deep

Roll all your clothes before you pack them. It will save you approximately 1,000,000 cubic centimetres of space, and makes you look crazy-organized even if you’re not sure where the bus you’ve just gotten on is headed.

3)     What’s on the outside does count

Sorry, moms of the world. In matters of luggage, the exterior is just as important as what’s inside. Everyone has the same black, mid-sized rectangle with wheels and unreliable top handle. Consider a colourful or patterned suitcase, or at the very least a bright luggage tag or ribbon tied onto your bag handle to make sure you know what you’re elbowing your fellow passengers out of the way to chase down.

4)     Enough with the backpacks, already.

Very, very few destinations necessitate the ubiquitous (and crazy heavy) giant backpack. Unless you’re hiking in the Himalayas or trekking through the Australian outback, save yourself the strain and bring a wheelie.  

5)     Look nice, ladies

Being a transient drifter answering the call of wanderlust doesn’t mean you need to look like a human dreadlock. Packing lightweight, non-wrinkling items like a jersey wrap dress or classy but easy to wash blouse means you can casually saunter into upscale hotels and partake of their nice washrooms/free wifi/occasional food and drink offerings. Plus you’ll look clean, well-dressed, and less like a tourist, which is always nice. Versatile clothing is also key. Got a skirt that becomes a dress? Have a shirt you can wear multiple ways? Feeling good about a scarf that can also function as a pillow/blanket on planes and trains? Grab some easy layers and watch your wardrobe triple in utility.

6)     Need vs. Want, toiletries edition

You probably don’t need your hair straightener in Pukhet. You probably do need sunscreen, as it costs exponentially more to purchase over there, and can be hard to find in higher SPFs. (Lookin’ out for my fellow pale girls/SPF-junkies!) Think about where you’re headed and what you’re likely to need—insect repellent over perfume, an all-in-one blush/lipstick instead of a million individual products, etc. Don’t abandon mascara if you need it to live, but maybe get a waterproof kind that won’t smudge if you go impromptu scuba-diving or sweat your face off while riding a camel.

7)     Need vs. Want, footwear edition

I pack heels almost every time I go abroad, and I never, ever wear them. Airlines are cracking down on weight limits for luggage, and medieval cobblestone-y streets or beautiful white sand beaches or ancient old stairways or jungle or desert are NOT the place for your chunky platforms, cute though they may be. Bring what you think you’ll really need—something sturdy but attractive that you can walk for days in, flip flops for hostel showers or beaches etc. The point is you probs don’t need those giant heels, unless you’re one of those fancy women who goes to Monte Carlo or something. Then, okay, bring a pair of simple yet easy-to-dress-up Loubs. You own those, right?

8)     Bring enough undies.

Don’t be a moron.

9)     Embrace your inner Jane Bond

Travel gadgets are not always as silly as they might appear in Skymall. Embrace them! Thoughtfully. This is not just a great excuse to hit up Skymall (although Lord, bless and preserve Skymall forever and ever AMEN) but sometimes little travel do-hickeys are really worth it. Consider things like a portable clothesline that suctions itself onto bathroom tiles or an all-in-one universal power adapter. Something like a teensy-tiny pocket set of speakers can make the difference between a day at the beach and a dance party at the beach, and which would you prefer?

10   Try to follow the airline’s instructions

Listen. I know you’re not going to make a small bomb out of shampoo, and you know you’re not going to make a small bomb out of shampoo, but for some reason airport security does not fully know that. Make life easier for yourself and them by following guidelines about liquids, gels, sharp objects, animal horns (?), fruit, veg, whatever. If they say you can’t bring it, don’t bring it. They will find it and they will confiscate it. Watch your overweight luggage too; there are hefty charges for over-hefty bags. Also, it hurts to have a flight attendant yell, “You’re overweight!” and then make you step out of line to adjust things in your bag. It hurts real bad.

Well, there you have it. Now don’t forget to pack the most important thing… A SENSE OF ADVENTURE!!!! LOLOLOL! Seriously, though, if you head out with the right attitude, you can pack a bindle full of bras and still have a great time. Just keep these tips in mind if you want to make things easier, and fancy wearing something other than a very avant-garde brassiere-jumpsuit.

~Monica Heisey

Photo caption: Monica Heisey did not pack the appropriate clothes to visit Tunisia. She was given a blanket-skirt to avoid an international incident. This was in 2008 and she has learned a lot since then.