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The Hair, Down There

THE QUESTION:

“So just coming home from my monthly Brazilian wax appointment, I figured I’d shoot you a question for the guys:
Body hair? Do you rather the completely bare look or the 70’s Playboy bush? Or do you even really care? And finally, is having hair down there just simply a deal breaker on oral play?”

THE FORUM:

The Doctor: I think it’s a lot a like a man’s beard – it all comes down to maintenance and individual preferences. Just be confident and rock whatever you feel is right. The key though is to keep that secret garden of yours maintained. I don’t mind a little bush, but draw the line at an untamed forest. If you’d rather go with the bald look, then you better keep it bald. Put it this way, would you like us going down on you with a day-old beard? It’s like caressing sandpaper.

Pubic hair is definitely not a deal breaker in my book and can even be downright sexy if done right. Other body hair on the other hand – hairy pits/legs – definite turn offs. Ugh.

Valmont: I once knew a girl who had more leg and armpit hair than I do. She would brush off any overt comment I’d make about it as the height of misogyny. Incidentally, she also found my constant allusions to the benefits of Amazonian deforestation to be in poor taste. “You don’t think for a second about the loss of biodiversity!”, she’d quip and roll her eyes. While most guys – and I say most because there’s a fetish for everything out there – would, I think, agree with me on too much hair, I think there’s a fairly even split in opinion between ‘none’ and ‘some’. Personally, I’d prefer a little something. To quote the great Hank Moody: “while I’m down there it might be nice to see a hint of pubis. I’m not talking about a huge 70’s Playboy bush or anything. Just something that reminds me that I’m performing cunnilingus on an adult.”

The Greek: Do you wear long sleeves in the summer? Do you wear your winter jacket in the spring? Do you wear a snowsuit on the beach? I think we all know the answer to this question. ( EDITOR’S NOTE: What does that even mean?!)

Al Batrosse: We care a lot. Ask any guy in a bar and he will have a story about the hairiest minge he’s ever seen. My hair scare involves me shrieking and pulling up the covers and then denying I had any reaction at all.

There will always be guys who say, “I prefer working on a clean surface.” And women who insist that they get wetter because they have no hair down there. Most of us just appreciate a woman with nice panties that are too small but provide full coverage for what lies beneath.

Van Stanley: The question of body hair really comes down to a man’s personal preference: some guys prefer clean shaven, others not so much. When in doubt however, I’d take a page out of the minimalist playbook and go with “less is more” – for all other body hair I’d stick with the “less is less” philosophy.

More important than hair volume however is hair maintenance. You may have more Bush than a Gavin Rossdale band, but so long as it is well groomed: we’re happy. A well maintained region is also much more likely to be subjected to oral exploration, unless you are with one of those “off the beaten path” adventure seeking types.

Go with whatever makes you the most confident, just take care of your lotus flower and we’ll be buzzing like bees.

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