Last night an elite crowd of press, designers and mega spenders squished into the smallest low ceiling area of the posh department store to learn about the word ‘fabulous’. Fashion Design Council of Canada President, Robin Kay, admits that it was the only “F” word she was allowed to use to theme L’Oreal Fashion Week. Too bad, I think our little fashion story would be more interesting if we called it FUCKING EH! Or perhaps even more bravado – FUCK YEAH! Then Kay mentioned the “R” word, as in recession. Wah wah. She questioned whether FABULOUS was in fact the right theme to go with… perhaps frugal would be more fitting? So while Kay talked about L’Oreal Fashion Week’s breakthrough into the world, her devout affection towards Joseph Mimran and made passing remarks about whether The BAY will regain its strength, Holt Renfrew’s Barbara Atkin listed off examples of when we feel fabulous. These ranged from entering a party in a pair of killer stilettos, catching the opera or watching a woman wake up a room with the simplest and classic little black dress. Following our unison nods of approval that everything was indeed fabulous, Kay discussed how she doesn’t know how to plug a toaster in. This was a slick segue into introducing LG Electronics as a new partner because fashion and electricity go hand in hand. Beads of sweat were dripping down foundation caked faces. Views were blocked by insane hats that perched on bald heads like some skinny crow looking for food in a swamp, and just as the crowd started to yawn – SMASH – a lady’s giant….and I mean 10 lb, wooden choker busted in half, knocked her wine glass which shattered all over the floor. Perhaps an exaggeration, but the fashion was so powerfully condensed in that room that it nearly took over and killed us all. Finally, after learning our lesson about the F-word, Tyler Brule was introduced. The world renowned journalist who founded Wallpaper Magazine and writes a devoutly followed weekly in the Financial Times has started another glossy full of style and worldly insight – Monocle. Touted as a briefing on global affairs, business, culture and design – Brule and his newest literary feat were introduced by a circular-monocle like hand gesture that Kay put up to her eye to glare around the crowd like a detective. A kiss-kiss and Brule took over the mic to explain that he was here because the contact at Joe Fresh used to have a locker next to his in another decade. He then talked up Porter Airlines for a good long while and told us he was leaving in the morning due to a busy schedule but was excited to catch the Pink Tartan show. Thanks for dropping in, now let’s go run our hands through some water and plug the toaster in for some seriously rocking fashion hair – FUCK YEAH!