Toronto Hit List: Girl & Boy 90s Dance Party, A Very LayTheseKnight Christmas, Love Handle, “It’s A Wonderful Life” Screening & more!

WEDNESDAY

9 pm Fear Street @ Sex Laser, 1369 Dundas St W. Horror/sci-fi movie scores/songs from soundtracks, or spooky/cool stuff every Wednesday. Maybe you’ll talk about movies. Maybe you’ll dance with some zombies. Maybe you’ll fall into the Hell Mouth. $3 PBR before 11pm.

10 pm VICE Presents: Xmess 2013 @ The Shop under Parts & Labour, 1566 Queen St. W. What’s that, Charlie Brown, you want to do that hands up in the hair Peanuts dance around the punch bowl? Cool, cause VICE is bringing in NYC’s #1 party man, Jonathan Toubin, to play just about every rock ‘n’ roll record you’ve ever loved real loud. RSVP here.

10 pm Where the Vile Things Are @ The Ossington, 61 Ossington Ave. Primordial rock ‘n’ roll, early punk, and soul. ALL VINYL.

10 pm Liquid Karaoke @ Bambi’s, 1265 Dundas St. W. Colin Bergh, James McDonough, Nadia Belerique, and Jeff Hayward are your hosts. $4 Jameson and $5.50 pints before midnight.

THURSDAY

7 pm Headmistress Holiday Pop-Up @ Hermann & Audrey, 1506 Dundas St. W. Just in time for the holidays, Headmistress is hosting their annual Pop-Up. Santa has truly arrived and he’s brought a bag full of good times, great playlists, and wonderful handmade, Headmistress Accessories at 10% off for one glorious night only. RSVP to rsvp@loveheadmistress.com.

8 pm Seinfeld Super Terrific Happy Hour: A Festivus For the Rest of Us Edition @ Unlovable, 1415-B Dundas St. W. In classic pub-style trivia, Super Terrific Happy Hour trivia features intense trivia questions from the entire history of Seinfeld. No multiple choice, no questions out of canon – just straight-up Q&A on the world’s favourite show about nothing, brought to you by three undefeated Seinfeld trivia nuts who clearly have too much time on their hands. And as a miracle Festivus bonus, they will have their very own version of Feats of Strength and Airing of Grievances! You and your team could win amazing prizes, and most importantly, be next winners of the sacred Sacamano Cup, made from the finest dollar store fusilli!

9 pm D.I.Y. @ The Piston, 937 Bloor St. W. The only way to assure you can get moving on a particular endeavour is to put one foot in front of the other and make it happen for yourself. That is what D.I Y. Is all about; four bands known mainly by friends and family who make incredible music. Performances by Heirloom Beats, Me & The Royal We, Complaints Dept., and Bare Claws. $7 or $5 with a can of food (which will be donated to the Daily Bread Food Bank) or FREE with 3 cans of food.

10 pm Stop Crying @ Crawford, 718 College St. The Bass6 crew plays all the bangers you want to hear! $5.

FRIDAY

9 pm Fort York, Wax Atlantic & Odd Years @ The Garrison, 1197 Dundas St. W. Fort York are a group of great friends who love music. Two years ago, they spent some time recording the songs they’d worked on for ages; the end was result was “Feels Like Then”, an 8 track EP released in December of 2011, to instant acclaim. As the EP continues to make the rounds, in January they released a follow-up EP. The Short Season was released in digital format, a popular style of the era. They’ll be joined by Wax Atlantic and Odd Years.

10 pm Girl & Boy 90s Dance Party @ Clinton’s, 693 Bloor St. W. A pulsating dance party rocking the retro sounds of the 1990s! All your favourite dance, pop, hip-hop, R&B, and so on and so on and so on. $5.

10 pm Ho Ho Pony @ The Shop under Parts & Labour, 1566 Queen St. W. DJs Orange Pekoe and special guest Thomas Culture play ’90s hip-hop, R&B, everything with Ginuwine’s “Pony” every hour on the hour. Free before 11 pm, $5 after.

10 pm Moves @ Andy Poolhall, 489 College St. Non-stop dance music all night with DJs Barbi (Phelyns Of Vedici), Brains4brkfst (Evolved), Caff (Ignition), and Gabe=A (Moss Boss). Get on the dance floor and show them your moves! $5 before midnight, $10 after.

10 pm Sweat Pants @ The Ossington, 61 Ossington Ave. DJ Coolin Cregg plays his/your favourite songs all night. ’95(ish) to ’05(ish) rap/RnB/reggae/dancehall, sexy tunes, new joints, old jams, sweat pants. $5.

10 pm Holiday Underground @ Wrongbar, 1279 Queen St. W. Nastymix, New School Deep, Boogie Inc., Milk, Brooks Events, and Garage 416 present one of house music’s originators, Kerri ‘Kaoz’ Chandler. With support from Felix & Gani and DJ Illo. $15 advance tickets available online.

10 pm (ALT)Night: A Beary Xmas @ The Steady, 1051 Bloor St. W. The original bear of (ALT), DJ Dislexia will be playing “Santa Bear” and dropping all the jams you know and love! He’ll be joined by special guest DJ Rob, whos sound has been described as “Electro Fusion: Perfectly blending pop music sensibility with electronic underground charm.” Host Igby Lizzard promises mething special for the holiday season!

10 pm Rebel Hop @ The Piston, 937 Bloor St. W. Soul, funk, reggae, hip-hop, Motown, and their relative disciples with DJs Double K and Brittney Townson (Bangs & Blush) + Dennis P on the sax! Free before 11 pm, $5 after.

10 pm Festive Sweater Retro Dance Party @ Scout’s Honour, 1576 Dundas St. W. Have some rum and eggnog and dance to some great tracks with DJ Minor Niner in your best reindeer gear.

10 pm Hip-Hop Karaoke: Round #83 @ Revival, 783 College St. HHK closes up shop on 2013 with a festive gathering of rap karaoke! Sign up for your track and rock and shock the house with your verbal skills. Hosted by Abdominal and More Or Les with DJ Numeric and Ted Dancin’. $10 before 11 pm, $15 after.

10 pm Fly By Night / Xmas & The Trap @ Crawford, 718 College St. Upstairs, MTV’s own DJ Dopey alongside DJ Serious spin the best in hip-hop, R&B, and party watches. Sponsored by Nixon watches, so expect some giveaways. Downstairs, DJs Pete Funk Cake, Alia Caffeina, Julie Mango, and birthday boy Safari647 running the trap remixes with a heavy slice of that reggae cake. $5 before 10:30 pm, more after.

10 pm Shadows of Motown @ The Boat, 158 Augusta Ave. Shadows of Motown is a dance party that plays the biggest and best Motown, doo wop, booty shakin’ hits! With DJs Slater, Well Said, and Ty. $5.

10 pm Art School @ Handlebar, 159 Augusta Ave. Featuring the DJ talent of Party Horse, Alisa Maria, Dyke Van Dick, and Party Killer. Visuals by No Art (Brandon A. Dalmer). Special arty things will happen too.

11 pm A Very LayTheseKnight Christmas @ The Drake Underground, 1150 Queen St. W. DJs Patrick McGuire and Famou$ Players (Adam Jackson and Jeff Hayward) play R&B right before Christmas. It’ll be both holly and jolly. Expect all your favourite favourite Destiny’s Child and Mariah Christmas songs + music like Ciara, Aaliyah, TLC, Feat. Pharrell, Jagged Edfe, 112, Sean Paul, R. Kelly, Justin Timberlake, LL Cool J, Kelis, Ja Rule, Frank Ocean, Brandy, Monica. $10.

SATURDAY

8 pm Soulstice: Festival of Lights Afterburn @ Handlebar, 159 Augusta Ave. The sun will never have been farther away from Kensington than on this short, dark day. Upside is: bright white lights, and dancing deep into the long black night can warm up any shivering soul, no matter how cold. Bass-heavy, dancehall, hip-hop, funk, edits, and all kindsa boooom brought to you by the usual suspects: Originao, MFThompson, Starmak, and Dr J.

9 pm What Goes On: A Tribute to Lou Reed @ The Sister, 1554 Queen St. W. A night of tribute to one of rock ‘n’ roll’s greatest figures, Lou Reed. King Beez host as they welcome friends and other Lou Reed fans to come pay tribute as well. So far the list includes: Christian D (of Christin D and the Hangovers), Arthur Renwick, Shotgun Wedding Band, Janitors, Noble Savages, Matt Groopie, Spike Love (of Lavender Orange), Alex Pulec (of The Nursery), Michelle McKinnon (of Skirt People), Sarah Holland (of Teenage X), Alex Ross, Johnny and the X’s, and more TBA. Please bring a canned food or any non-perishable food item.

10 pm Love Handle @ The Piston, 937 Bloor St. W. DJs Catalist, Famous Lee, and special guest Son of S.O.U.L. throw an all-vinyl boogie funk dance party! In keeping with the seasons tidings, they are accepting canned goods/non-perishable donations on the evening. $5.

10 pm Secret Models @ The Ossington, 61 Ossington Ave. One big room, full of bad bitches! DJs Secret Models play hits straight from your high school semi-formal.

10 pm Get It Together: Open Your Heart Edition @ The Boat, 158 Augusta Ave. An open-format dance party – last one of the year! All styles, all genres, all peoples welcome. $5.

10 pm Party & Bull$hit @ The Shop under Parts & Labour, 1566 Queen St. W. Family Business presents another epic hip-hop dance party! DJs FBomb and Ry-Fi play rap bangers and other trill $hit all night. Bring comfortable shoes because they’re gonna make you TWERK. Free before 11 pm, $5 after.

10 pm Shake, Rattle & Roll @ Clinton’s, 693 Bloor St. W. Spend the night together with the Bangs & Blush ladies! ’60s pop, soul and rock ‘n’ roll to drink, dance, and get messy to. $5.

10 pm The Anthems / Sugar Hill @ Crawford, 718 College St. Upstairs, DJ Blaster takes your favourite club anthems and mixes them with the original songs they were sampled from. Downstairs, DJ Grouch plays ’80s and ’90s rap, R&B, new jack swing, and more. $5 before 11:30 pm, more after.

10 pm Yes Yes Y’all @ Annex WreckRoom, 794 Bathurst St. The hottest, sweatiest, busiest queer hip-hop/dancehall/RnB jam around! Vybz meets A$AP meets Kendrick meets Cham meets Foxy meets Ciara. Happy Tona joins the YYY Crew this month. $6.

10 pm Turning Point @ The Garrison, 1197 Dundas St. W. Resident selector A Man Called Warwick shares a top notch selection of vintage tropical dance floor shakers from all over the map. Dress to move and sweat! $10.

10 pm Nite Flights @ Holy Oak, 1241 Bloor St. W. DJ Sandro Perri and Craig Dunsmuir spin your head with records from their collection.

11 pm Shake A Tail @ Sneaky Dee’s, 431 College St. A night of dancing to ’60s pop, rock, soul, funk, garage, ska, ANYTHING! Always humid. $5.

11 pm Quatro @ The Drake Underground, 1150 Queen St. W. Bridging the gap between four different eras and forming a cohesive sonic bond, Conor Cutz and Rouge bring you a night of the best music from times past. From the 1970s to the early 2000s, expect to hear the best of everything from James Brown to Justice, M.J. to Biggie—tracks that defined generations, seamlessly mashed up and reworked by the infamous duo. Around midnight, renowned speed artist Anthony Haley takes the stage and begins performing his craft. Gaining inspiration from the crowd, music and overall feel of the night, Haley will take you on a visual quest creating piece after piece live on stage. $10.

SUNDAY

1:30 pm “It’s A Wonderful Life” Screening & Fundraiser @ Revue Cinema, 400 Roncesvalles Ave. ‘Tis the season to watch George Bailey discover the meaning of his life on the big screen! Affable, earnest George has always put others before himself. His big dreams were put on hold by the war, his father’s death, his brother’s life and well, perhaps, poor luck. As mean old Mr. Potter puts the squeeze on the Bedford Falls’ Building & Loan, George starts to think maybe everyone would be better off without him. This film is a holiday classic for a reason! $5, with proceeds going to St. Francis Table in Parkdale.

10 pm Cool Spinnings @ The Ossington, 61 Ossington Ave. Last chance to dance! Non-Xmas-related beat party.

~ For event submissions, email Caitlyn Holroyd at caitlyn_holroyd@hotmail.com

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