Toronto Hit List: Home Alone Quote-Along, Birthday Sex, Beatlemania, Itzxmas & more!

November 20th-December 20th Toronto Christmas Market @ The Distillery District. The spirit of the winter season comes to life with the sixth edition of the Toronto Christmas Market, the city’s favourite holiday tradition. Ranked one of the best Christmas Markets in the world by Fodor’s Travel, USA Today and Mashable, among many others, the event returns to the Distillery Historic District and provides visitors with the opportunity to rediscover the magic of Christmas.

December 19th-20th The Trinity Bellwoods Flea Holiday Weekend Market @ Studio Bar, 824 Dundas St. W. Skip the lines and the crowds this holiday season and find the special gift for that special someone on your list all in one place. The Trinity Bellwoods Flea has brought back all your favourite handmade, local, art, and vintage vendors and artisans to bring you a diverse and truly gift worthy selection of goods! Open 11-6 pm both days.

WEDNESDAY

6 pm The MUFF Society Presents: Ghost World @ Carlton Cinema, 20 Carlton St. Join The MUFF Society as they celebrate their one-year birthday with this very special screening. Although Ghost World is written and directed by men and based off of a comic book by Daniel Clowes, he so effectively captured teen-girl angst that he was repeatedly accused of following young girls with tape recorders. (How insane is that?!) These characters are elaborate, interesting, and well developed, making this film a perfect MUFF worthy screening! Doors at 6 pm, screening at 7. $10 advance tickets available online.

8 pm Seinfeld Super Terrific Happy Hour Trivia @ Unlovable, 1415-B Dundas St. W. Do you endure the feats of strength every Festivus? Have you yada yada’d sex? Are you master of your domain? Well then, sounds like you need some Super Terrific Seinfeld Trivia! In classic pub-style trivia, Super Terrific Happy Hour trivia features intense trivia questions from the entire history of Seinfeld. No multiple choice, no questions out of canon, just straight up question and answer on the world’s favourite show about nothing, brought to you by three undefeated Seinfeld trivia nuts who clearly have too much time on their hands. Teams are up to six people, answering 50 questions over three rounds, and enjoying Seinfeld episodes in between. Win prizes!

10 pm Sore Hands, Hidden Tears @ The Ossington, 61 Ossington Ave. Gripe about the people in your life and drown your tears until you feel like picking yourself off the barstool to create new regrets, pain, and suffering. There’ll be a soundtrack of classic country to help you along.

11 pm Whiskey River @ The Red Light, 1185 Dundas St. W. Every Wednesday, the Red Light has a select whiskey on special + vinyl spun by Mike Starnino.

THURSDAY

5 pm Perfect Strangers @ Thoroughbred Food & Drink, 304 Richmond St. W. A brand-spanking new Thursday weekly starting at 5 pm for your post-work hang time. DJ Caff on the 1s and 2s all night long, playing everything from bangers to ballads.

5 pm Adult Colouring Workshop @ The Gladstone Hotel Melody Bar, 1214 Queen St. W. Let your inner child out and kick it old school with the Gladstone’s adult colouring-in every Thursday from 5 pm to close! Grab a beer and groove to some tunes while trying to stay in the lines. All supplies included.

8 pm Love To Love Disco @ Miss Thing’s, 1279 Queen St. W. Disco, every Thursday! Rare, groove, classic, italo, and nu. $5.

9 pm Free Salsa Night @ Fonda Lola, 942 Queen St. W. Queen West’s own authentic Mexican bistro Fonda Lola is hosting a free salsa night, with a complimentary lesson by Christine Walker of Walker Studios and live music from Sol De Cuba! Believing that quality food and drink can transform the spiritual well-being, Fonda Lola is offering up $5 beers, $6 tequila shots, and $8 cocktails for the occasion (9-1 am).

9:30 pm Bangs & Blush Present: Christmas @ Clinton’s, 693 Bloor St. W. Bangs & Blush invite you to rock around the Christmas tree to ’50s, ’60s, and guilty pleasures all night long! Featuring a special appearance by the ladies of Go-Go T.O. + prizes from: Mill Street Brewery, Pinky’s Nails, Le Sélect Bistro, Kops Records, Garrison’s Barbershop and Her Majesty’s Pleasure! Bring three non-perishable food items or pay $10 at the door in support of the Daily Bread Food Bank.

10 pm Strangelove @ Early Mercy, 540 King St. W. The infamous Strangelove party has arrived at King West’s newest bar/restaurant, Early Mercy. Join hosts Jonathan C and Josh Seaton as they enter the unseen, the society in the dark.

FRIDAY

6 pm “Interiors” Opening Reception @ Cooper Cole, 1134 Dupont St. “With ‘Interiors’ Aaron Aujla and Matt Kenny investigate the act of observation through a variety of surrogates. Together they address the constructs of familiarity, cognition, and the limits of language, which result in a series of sculptures and paintings that enlist alternate viewpoints.” Until 8 pm. Exhibition runs until January 16th.

9:30 pm Home Alone Quote-Along @ Bloor Hot Docs Cinema, 506 Bloor St. W. Join hilarious host Thomas Rivas for the second annual Home Alone quote-along! Just like last year, they’re showing it with subtitles, karaoke-style, so you can get rowdy and shout out your favourite lines (“Buzz, your girlfriend, WOOF!”), scream with Kevin, and boo Uncle Frank. Bring a donation for the cinema’s food drive in support of The Stop Community Food Centre and they’ll give you a prop bag full of goodies! Doors at 8:30 pm, screening at 9:30. Advance tickets available online.

10 pm Birthday Sex: Slay Ride Edition @ The Shop under Parts & Labour, 1566 Queen St. W. Birthday Sex-mas is back! Diego Bros are back to play the sweatiest ’90s and ’00s RnB and hip-hop jams all night long! (December babies, post your birthday requests on the Facebook page.) Free before 11 pm, $5 after.

10 pm Rebel Hop @ The Piston, 937 Bloor St. W. Soul, funk, reggae, hip-hop, dancehall, and their relative disciples with DJs Gramera and Linx on the decks + Dennis P on the sax! Free before 11 pm, $5 after.

10 pm Gold Chain @ The Ossington, 61 Ossington Ave. DJs Aoki and Snack will have you dancing all night long to the best hip-hop of today and yesterday. You don’t wanna miss this display of supreme DJing – it’s the gold standard.

10 pm Shadows of Motown @ The Boat, 158 Augusta Ave. Shadows of Motown is a dance party that plays the biggest and best Motown, doo wop, booty shakin’ hits! With DJs Slater, Well Said, and Ty. $5.

10 pm Terms & Conditions @ Dundas Video, 831 Dundas St. W. Super Nintendo and Sega Genesis in the bar, visuals by Reagan Cook, tunes by DJs Evan Doyle and Chris Scott.

10 pm Stones Place Friday Nights @ Stones Place, 1255 Queen St. W. Friday night party with DJ Blush! Dance all night to the best of ’50s, ’60s, and ’70s rock ‘n’ roll, soul, and pop at one of Toronto’s most legendary dance venues in the city of Toronto. Bring those dancing shoes – you’ll be sure to leave sweaty and smiling. $5.

11 pm Racks & Bands @ The Drake Underground, 1150 Queen St. W. Racks & Bands is a monthly party focused on one thing and one thing only: bringing booty back to the Underground. Turn up with resident DJs King Python and Johnny Hockin as they motivate the winin’ and grindin’, playing only the hottest in current rap and RnB. $10 or $5 with guestlist (email jayjolliffe@gmail.com).

SATURDAY

8 pm DJ Skate Nights: 1 Love T.O. Holiday Skating Party @ Natrel Rink at Harbourfront Centre, 235 Queen’s Quay W. Sharpen your skates and skills on the Natrel Rink as Toronto’s best winter block party returns to Harbourfront Centre! DJ Dlux brings his fresh sound to the rink as the 1 Love T.O. crew hosts its very popular holiday skate party. Weather permitting.

10 pm Deep Red Xmas Edition @ The Red Light, 1185 Dundas St. W. House, disco, soul, and other fine fare courtesy of DJs Eroc and Codis.

10 pm I’m Going Downstairs @ Unlovable, 1415-B Dundas St. W. A night of basement music at Unlovable. The finest in soul, jazz, gospel, funk, and disco for you and yours.

10 pm Voodoo @ Bambi’s, 1265 Dundas St. W. Electro-Caribbean-Funk-Minimalism. Working the root: Andycapp + special guest.

10 pm Love Handle vs. Cratery: The Showdown @ The Rivoli, 334 Queen St. W. An all-out battle for boogie supremacy as Love Handle goes toe-to-toe with our arch Frenemies Cratery! Lace up dem dancing shoes real tight cause there will be no punches pulled, no egos, spared and somebody’s gonna get an ear bitten off! Featuring six DJs, four turntables, two mixers, two microphones, and a whole lotta non-stop FUNK action. $10 before midnight, more after.

10 pm Party & Bull$hit @ The Shop under Parts & Labour, 1566 Queen St. W. A night of rap bangers and other trill $hit with DJs FBomb and Ry-Fi. Free before 11 pm, $5 after.

10 pm All Souled Out @ The Ossington, 61 Ossington Ave. DJ Big Jimmy Mills on two turntables spinning old school hip-hop, party jams, dancehall, reggae, and RnB. $5.

10 pm Get It Together: Holiday Dance Party Edition @ The Boat, 158 Augusta Ave. Come hit the dance floor and celebrate the holidays! All genres, all genres, and all peoples welcome. Selections by Mikey McFly. $5.

10 pm It’s All Good @ The Piston, 937 Bloor St. W. DJ General Eclectic and Splattermonkey spin all-’90s hip-hop, house, and rock! The best all killer and no filler selections from 1990 to 1999, so expect to hear stuff like Wu-Tang, Pixies, Nirvana, etc. Nostalgic moments guaranteed, because It’s All Good, baby! $5.

10 pm Beatlemania @ Clinton’s, 693 Bloor St. W. Why did the Beatles cross Abbey Road? To get to Beatlemania of course! Bangs & Blush will be playing loads of Fab Four tunes + your favourites from the ’50s and ’60s! It won’t be long til you’re twisting and shouting all night. $5 with student ID.

10 pm The Breakfast Club Ugly Christmas Sweater Party @ BLND TGER, 559 College St. The Breakfast Club is once again in session! And since it’s the holidays, they’re bringing you the Ugly Christmas Sweater edition – so get those hideous holiday outfits ready and get ready to party like it’s 1986! DJ Starting From Scratch takes you back to the ’80s with all your favourite radio hits, rarities, and alternative gems from all your favourite artists of the decade. Before midnight: $10 with ’80s gear, $20 without. After midnight: $15 with ’80s gear, $20 without.

10 pm Turning Point @ The Garrison, 1197 Dundas St. W. Resident selector A Man Called Warwick and special guest Guv’genral share a top-notch selection of vintage tropical dance floor shakers from all over the map. Dress to move and sweat! $10.

11 pm Whatchu Know Bout Christmas? @ The Steady, 1051 Bloor St. W. Whatchu is back for a Very Merry Hot-Mess! As always, this is a queer dance party featuring the ladies of hip-hop and R&B with DJ Orange Pekoe as your not-so-secret Santa. $5.

11 pm Shake A Tail @ Sneaky Dee’s, 431 College St. ’60s pop, rock, soul, funk, garage, ska, ANYTHING! Always humid. $5.

11 pm Quatro @ The Drake Underground, 1150 Queen St. W. Bridging the gap between four different eras and forming a cohesive sonic bond, Conor Cutz and Rouge bring you a night of the best music from times past. From the 1970s to the early 2000s, expect to hear the best of everything from James Brown to Justice, M.J. to Biggie – tracks that defined generations, seamlessly mashed up and reworked by the infamous duo. Around midnight, renowned speed artist Anthony Haley takes the stage and begins performing his craft. Gaining inspiration from the crowd, music and overall feel of the night, Haley will take you on a visual quest creating piece after piece live on stage. $10.

SUNDAY

7 pm Brass Facts Trivia @ The Ossington, 61 Ossington Ave. Test your knowledge and win prizes! Hosted by Famous Kirk Hero. Until 10 pm.

7:30 pm Burdock Holiday Show for Girls Rock Camp @ Burdock, 1184 Bloor St. W. Burdock presents a very special holiday show in support of Girls Rock Camp Toronto. Performances by April Aliermo (Hooded Fang, Phedre), Robin Dann (Bernice), Steven Foster (Omhouse, Doldrums), Don Kerr (Rheostatics, Ron Sexsmith), Maya Killtron, Simone Schmidt (Fiver, Highest Order), Raven Shields, and Mia Sheard + some surprise guests and a secret house band. All ages. $12 in advance, $15 at the door.

9 pm Itzxmas @ Apt. 200, 1034 Queen St. W. The Itzoweezee crew is throwing an X-mas jam with the best lineup a holiay party has ever seen. No cover, just drink up and be merry! Music provided by Tom Wrecks and DJ Soundbwoy.

~ For event submissions, email Caitlyn Holroyd at caitlyn_holroyd@hotmail.com

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