weekend ideas

If your schedule is anything like mine, you are currently navigating from one holiday zinger to the next. There is a range from dreadfully boring, wildly obnoxious and crazy to just plain kinky.

Clearly, it’s a competition for the most outrageous, and specific, event this weekend.

 If you aren’t wearing an ugly reindeer sweater eating squares and murmuring pleasantries in someone’s living room, you can ride the streetcar party through the Toronto Tundra, attend John Waters Christmas bash at the Phoenix, groove to music made in Toronto by Jamaicans from ’67-’74 (ONLY!), dance all night to Kylie Minougue, raise money for Heavy Metal in Baghdad, or join the leagues of random Santa’s in Dundas square and head to a local pub for a pint.

See, I told you things were a little wacky.

THURSDAY

Heavy Metal In Baghdad – Photography Exhibit Fundraiser for Acrassicauda

What is Acrassicauda? It’s Iraq ’s only heavy metal band. They have spent the last few years receiving death threats, being labeled Satin worshipers, and putting on dangerous concerts for their fans – many of whom are now dead.

This past September, they had a film in the Toronto International Film Festival – to view a clip:

myspace.com/wwwacrassicaudas5com

Sponsored by VICE Magazine and VBS.TV, photographers work from around the world will be on display to help raise funds for band members. Get whacked in the head with inspiration and help support Heavy Metal in Baghdad .

XSPACE GALLERY – 58 Ossington
7PM – onwards

Jamaica – Toronto

Presented by CKLN, hosted at the MOD CLUB
722 College

This is a night put on by people who are really into music. I mean, they dug around in record stores for YEARS finding the most authentic music that came from people arriving from Jamaica to Toronto in between the years ’67 – 74. This is bound to be a night of good dancing and commemorating a certain sound from history that many fell in love with long ago – but will never forget.

$20, Ticketmaster, Rotate This, Play de Record, Soundscapes

Doors open at 7PM, Show starts at 8PM

MORE INFO:
lightintheattic.net/releases/jamaicatotoronto/

SPYNGA with DJ Mark S1, 1415 Bathurst (s. of St. Clair) $20

Start battling that excess Christmas toxins and sludge NOW! DJ Mark S1 will be spinning house, Rock n’ Roll and Hip Hop, so you can spin faster and FASter and FASTER!!!! If you aren’t preoccupied with stuffing your mouth full of cookies and beer, this will be a really fun, energetic and exhilarating work out.

www.spynga.com

FRIDAY

Friday Option 1:

Streetcar Party! Woot woot!

Surely something unusual for those who are sick of the same ol’

From 8 – 11Pm this Friday you can go nuts on the Streetcar. Ride through the Toronto Tundra to the Arctic – it’s like a crazy acid trip sans drugs.

Tix are $20, and can be purchased at Lavish & Squalor clothing store

Hosted by the playful and outrageous Newmindspace team:

www.nemindspace.com/arctica.php

~afterparty at Circa’s Randomland night.

Friday Option 2:

To some, riding a packed streetcar in the dark with a bunch of rowdy and colourful teens sounds like heaven – others a complete nightmare. Similar to this duality KYLIEMANIA may evoke utter excitement or irrational anger.

KYLIEMANIA @ FLY NIGHTCLUB 8 Gloucester

I’m going to describe this as incredibly gay and really fun!

$5 – pre 10:30
$10 – post 10:30

If you are thinking:

“Hmmm – after commuting all week getting groped by strangers as I ride the rocket, I’m really not into partying on the streetcar and I’d rather step in dog poo than attend an all night danceathon to Kylie Minogue”

No worries – we’ve got a little bit of everything this weekend – two more kickass Friday suggestions:

Friday Option 3:

Q. I feel like putting on some fancy clothes, wearing a mask and being sophisticating mysterious, as I swing around the club making cat eyes at strangers

A. Go to Maro in Liberty Village for the first annual Masquerade Ball

More Info? E-mail: events@chapmanandbroughpr.com

135 Liberty Street, $10

Friday Option 4:

Q: I don’t feel like putting on any fancy clothes or being mysterious, I’d rather just be in a room full of friendly faces, drinking my drinks and busting around with happy folk, oh yeah – and I don’t want to pay any cover, I’m broke

A: Go to ROOM PARTY one year anniversary @ 751 Queen West, no cover

SATURDAY

John Waters X-mas @ The Phoenix

A little kinky, a little quirky, full of spirit, full of trash and lots of hippity hoppity music to make you laugh – who doesn’t love John Waters?

I spent an afternoon with him trying to make a hotel room look less like a prostitutes pad. True story – less context makes it more interesting.

Spoken Word, Music & Storytelling  – how completely wholesome sounding but ironically I guarantee this evening will be absolutely perverse

6:30 – 9:30, $29.50 – tix for sale at Rotate This & Soundscape

SANTARCHY @ Dundas Square

I don’t want to see John Waters pretend he’s Santa – I want to BE SANTA – and mingle with other SANTA fans. (p.s you are a bit of a weirdo – but that’s okay, we applaud your eccentricities)

SANTA’S UNITE!! As if the list of crap going on this weekend couldn’t get weirder – SANTARCHY is happening. YAY!

Get dressed up and meet other Santa fanatics in Dundas Square at 8PM. Following this, you will join a Santa Clause Parade to the nearest pub. You can all HO HO HO in unison, sit on each other’s lap and talk about how the Tooth Fairy is a slut and the Easter Bunny is cheap.

www.santarchy.com

Umm – is there anything kind of normal happening on Saturday night. NO!!!

Back to the Future Part 3 @ The Boat
158 Augusta, 5 buck

If you aren’t doing the hokey pokey with John Waters or running around getting drunk with a sea of Santa ’s – then you will have to go Back to the Future 3 and have a dance off to either music from 1958 or 1985. WHAT A COMPLETE MIND FUCK!

Lollipop / Great Balls of Fire /Yakety Yak or  Ssudio / Say You, Say Me / Material Girl

You only get to go back in time once, so choose a side, dress the part and live it up!

ALL WEEKEND LONG

Although I aspire to be, I’m not usually a theatre goer. However, I will most definitely be attending, “THE BOOK OF LIZ”. This past summer I fell in love with a theatre troupe called, Birdtown and Swanville. They put on a play at the Tranzac club called “36 Stories About Hopeless Girls”, and I never laughed so hard and identified so much with a live performance.

Following this I practically became a stalker – I found them on facebook, wrote them fan letters and requested that I somehow get involved with their theatre projects. It was similar to the feeling I had when I first fell in love with the Cranberries after falling in love with the television series, My So Called Life. I would write their lyrics all over my wall as some kind of code to live by, and sent them mail saying I loved them. Anyway, I digress – go see the play.

Book of Liz

Wed – Sat, Doors 7:45, Sun Matinee 1:45
Bread and Circus (I’m not sure either)
193 Baldwin St.

CLOTHING SHOW @ THE EX

Check out local designers, try on outfits in ridiculously make shift change rooms, eat a hot dog and chill.

FRIDAY: 3PM – 9PM
SATURDAY: 11AM – 9PM
SUNDAY: 11AM – 7PM

Tix – $8 on line, $10 at the door

http://www.theclothingshow.com/

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