Last week, Girls writer and director Lena Dunham published this piece in The New Yorker, inciting some controversy. People have perceived the writing as being everything from anti-Semitic to archaic, because “everyone’s already heard that one”.

Like Lena, I’m a Jewish woman. I can’t help but struggle with complicated feelings surrounding what is and is not okay to say about my culture and my faith.  As a writer who tries to employ humour, I grapple with this idea of comedic license. Can I make derogatory jokes about women because I am female? Can I poke fun at Canadians because I was born here? Can I spout off tasteless sexual innuendos because I lost my virginity to a guy who thought Half Baked was the “smartest movie ever made”? Does belonging to a certain category of people entitle me to tell stories and share opinions that those who do not belong cannot tell and share?

Whether Lena Dunham is Jewish or not shouldn’t matter. If you find the humour offensive, it shouldn’t concern you as to who’s making the joke. Jokes are either good or bad, and everyone is entitled to their opinion on that. But what gets really contentious is when someone is accused of not only being tasteless or unfunny, but anti-Semitic.

Kveller, an online publication made for Jews, by Jews, quickly responded to the post with a counter-post titled “Lena Dunham Equated Jews to Dogs & That’s Not OK.” Writer Jordana Horn very weakly sets out to illustrate all of the ways in which Lena is anti-Semitic. I don’t know who spat in Horn’s kosher for Pesach Choco-Rios, but COME ON! Anti-Semitic? Making cracks about cream cheese, balding, and overbearing mothers is not anti-Semitic. It might be over done, but it isn’t anti-Semitic. It’s not even culturally insensitive.

“Lena Dunham should be gassed for writing an unoriginal humour piece.” Now THAT, my Internet friends, is a culturally insensitive remark. I’ll explain why: When the term “gassed” is used, the speaker is often (not always, but often) referring to murder by compulsory toxic inhalation, most commonly associated with use of Zyklon B during the Holocaust. It could also be in reference to filling up one’s tank with petrol. But in context of the current shit storm surrounding Dunham, it’s safe to say they’re not referring to Premium Unleaded.

“My Jewish boyfriend doesn’t tip.” Now this isn’t exactly culturally insensitive, and it’s certainly not anti-Semitic. It’s an observation rooted in a stereotype, which is an image fueled by a widely held idea about Jewish people.

I believe my brother summed up the madness nicely when he said, “If you subtract the title [Dog or Jewish Boyfriend: A Quiz], it’s just a playful diatribe from a girl who has frustrations with her boyfriend and who really loves her dog.” Dunham is not comparing Jews to dogs, she is comparing her boyfriend to her pet, whom she appears to love very much.

I have a soft spot for Lena Dunham. She’s a talented, funny, confident woman who has managed to climb to the peak of a notoriously difficult industry, all the while wearing a predictably ill-fitting outfit. But I’m still a Jew before I’m a Lena Dunham fan. I don’t think it matters who’s at the podium; offensive rhetoric is just that. With all of the legitimate hate speech being spewed today, can’t we unclench our assholes a minute to laugh lightly at something that’s meant to be laughed at, lightly?

“Religion is sensitive stuff, I guess,” my brother said, as he looked over the bill quickly. “But in this case, it seems like people are trying to pole-vault over a mouse turd. There are real people out there who really do hate other people, and I just don’t think this is an example of that. Her being Jewish or not being Jewish has no bearing on that whatsoever.” Pushing his chair out, he leaves two loonies and two quarters on a twenty-eight dollar bill. And you can take from that fact whatever you will.

Carli Stephens-Rothman, also known as Carli Mia, or just Carli Stephens, or just Carli Rothman, is a writer and yoga instructor based in Canada. All over Canada. After graduating from journalism school a million years ago, she’s put her pen to paper (proverbially, because who does that for anything but grocery lists these days) with many publications, print and digital, and has spent the last four years writing the little words that appear on products that you buy in stores, and also the ads that convince you to go to the stores and buy these products.