We’ve all heard of the typical cheesy pick-up lines: “I lost my number, can I have yours?” “Do you have a map? I’m getting lost in your eyes.” “Would you grab my arm so I can tell my friends I’ve been touched by an angel?”

And the list goes on.

In real life, no one really uses those. But I’m starting to think there’s some sort of memo going around with garbage lines to try on girls. A month ago I was in at a club in downtown Toronto and a guy comes up to me. “Hey! I’m James, what’s your name?”

Bold. Confident. Cute. OK, I can deal.

“Amanda.”

“Do you want to play a game?”

I can’t help but think of Saw. “Um…”

“You have to answer five questions with the wrong answer to win. Have you played it before?”

“No, I don’t think so,” I reply hesitantly.

“Ok. Here, let’s try it. Question one: what’s your name?”

“Um… Amy?”

“There! You got it! Question two…”

I was trying to think ahead. What was the last question going to be? Perhaps, ‘can I kiss you?’ And I’ll say yes, meaning no. But then he’ll probably still lunge and say the game was over? My wheels were spinning as I answered the next two questions incorrectly for a score of three.

“Wow you’re really good at this! Are you sure you haven’t played before?”

“No, I haven’t,” I say, still slightly confused.

“AHA! You lose!”

“Wait, what?”

“I got you. That was the fourth question. You answered it truthfully. You admitted earlier to never playing this game before. Therefore, your last answer was the truth.”

He’s smiling ear to ear. So proud that he beat me at his little game. He proceeded to forcing me to tell it to my friend and watched me catch her with the same trap. He laughed hysterically. And with that, I had to relocate.

Such a strange game tactic that I later laughed about with my friend.

Two weeks later, I was in Montreal with the same friend. We sat at a bar and were chatting over some drinks. Two guys came up to us.

“Hey ladies! Want to play a game?”

There’s no way. They continue, “You have to answer wrong to win!”

Really? REALLY NOW? I’m not even in the same province!

I quickly spoiled the game and proceeded to tell them how dumb their trick is. I think I almost made them cry. Was I being harsh? Maybe. But c’mon. I just want to meet someone who is not scripted. Someone who’s not trying too hard. Is that too much to ask for? I may be slightly insensitive, but I feel I can fairly criticize since I have had my share of trial and errors with pick up lines on guys.

My new personal favourite? Walk straight up to a cute guy with a huge grin. “HAPPY BIRTHDAY!” He’ll probably say something like, “Thanks but um, it’s not my birthday.” Drop your jaw. Cover your face with embarrassment. “Oh my goodness! That guy over there said it’s your birthday! I thought he was your friend! Unless he lied to me?!”

And boom. Conversation started. Was that so hard?

~ Amanda Cupido