by Jen McNeely
Director: Catherine Breillat (Fat Girl, Romance)

Cast: Asia Argento, Fu’ad Ait Aattou, Roxanne Mesquida

In A Nutshell: Opera, wine, elaborate curled locks, white dusted skin, dazzling costume jewellery, laced gloves, and tight corsets; the high society in France around the 1830’s was lavish. It was a period that titillated the senses with vulgar romanticism, where a hunger for decadence and the stink of lust was tightly bound behind rustles and bustles of opulent dress. It was this yearning for all things sensual, border lining on animalistic, that plays the backdrop to a tangled and tumultuous love triangle. Like many family dramas, this one begins with a meddlesome grandmother who is fixated on marrying her virginal granddaughter to a most scandalous libertine, despite controversial debates and gossipy warnings from fellow aristocracy.

Prompted by the stir of mutterings, the debatably wise and enamoured old woman sits by a crackling fire and while sipping on port wine demands the young suitor, Ryno de Marigny (Fu’ad Ait Aattou),to relay his story of infidelity with the dark and carnal Spanish mistress, La Vellini (Asia Argento).

With scenes of licking blood wounds to slicing chicken necks and swallowing the blood in dainty china tea cups; the tale of these young lovers is primal and raw. Not all saturated in bedroom bliss, he tells of their escape to Algeria that descends into tragedy and bodily chaos when their young daughter is pricked by a scorpion and dies. As her corpse burns in the dessert
the angry and fiercely raging mother and father fuck alongside the smokey ashes.

Back in France the relationship descends into utter chaos and once strong hearted romance transforms to ugly bursts of tormented sex. This is around the time that dear Grandma-ma decides that Ryno de Marigny be the perfect husband for her dear granddaughter. A practically royal wedding ensues and the new couple escape the harsh mutterings of perplexity and take refuge by the sea. In a grey and isolated castle, they attempt to remove themselves from the vulgarity and gross gluttony of culture, only to be haunted by the ever logic defying and passion driven Vellini.

Three Words to Describe: Decadent, Romantic, Carnal

Indicative Quotes: "I want to drink his blood! No one can stop me!"
"It was no longer love but an unending fury…a kind of barbarous rape."
"She was so totally organized for pleasure..she always needed it."

Reason I liked It: Mouths wide open with grunts of ecstasy next to striped and fierce fangs of a violent jungle cat; I have no objection to watching lovers fornicate wildly on a tiger rug. The Last Mistress is an amusement park for senses and the language moves like poetry (even if you are reading subtitles). Exquisite costumes paired with lustful body movements, the story of these young lovers is satisfying demented feminine porn.

You’ll Like This Film if You Liked: The Cook, The Thief, His Wife and Her Lover / Orlando / Fat Girl / Romance

The Verdict: If you are someone who enjoys wearing lingerie, and reading renaissance literature by candlelight, with a glass of full bodied red wine and a precarious bird with wounded wing on the window sill, then you will eat this film up. For those who prefer a popcorn blockbuster with bright lights, easy to digest plot lines and entertainment fluff, then look the other way. This film is for patient romantics.

Go see this film with: Your foreign lover, your friend who prefers to eat novels over junk food, your sister with a masters in fine art / art history / renaissance lit or French politics. Not for your basketball obsessed wings and beer boyfriend.