By: Boo Kitty

Though I enjoy both hard liquor and porn (the former more frequently than the latter, but a combination of two is ideal), I’ve never thought of myself as a qualified judge of either. Nonetheless I was somehow bestowed with the unique honour of being a judge for Darryl’s Hard Liquor and Porn Film Festival this past Saturday. Not really about liquor, or porn, the fest included a slew of sex-themed quirky shorts that were funnier and cuter than expected.

My G and Ts went down nicely as I watched the titillating and racy tales from my broken seat at the Bloor. And the after-party at the Wreck Room was the climax – who can beat $3 drinks and foosball?

Some hot highlights…

5 things I saw that night:
1. A cartoon Russell Crowe’s penis
2. A Lego man covered in semen
3. A sexy fat suit
4. A room full of people wearing 3D glasses
5. A man snorting panties up is nose

5 things I learned that night
1. Teat is spelled T E A T
2. Bravo funds some seriously weird shit
3. The Wreck Room and the Dance Cave must have bought the same mix tape last week
4. Silly Putty does not come off hair or fabric
5. Mayonnaise is not hot

A revealing evening indeed…

By BOO KITTY – porn critic at large