Boyfriends Facebook Account

Dear Xtina,
The other day I went to facebook to check my inbox and realized that I was
logged into my boyfriends account, as he had been on the computer earlier. I
know I shouldn’t be sneaking around his inbox but I saw three notes from
this chick Emily who he works with, and since she’s twenty-one and really
hot, I couldn’t help but investigate. There was no specific communication
that insinuated an affair but both of them were being overly flirtatious
discussing their sexual preferences. Apparently she likes to be choked and
he enjoys white ankle socks. I am now livid and steaming with rage and
unsure of how to approach this. We’ve been dating for six months, he just
moved in and everything seems dandy but this has thrown a wrench in things
and I’m unsure of how to firstly bring it up that I was rummaging through
his personal stuff and secondly if I should continue the relationship and /
or boot him out.



I can’t say that I’ve never heard this one before. Even before the days of
the internet – before the social networking sites and hotmail accounts –
there were diaries to be read and letters to be opened. I know, it’s right
there, just begging to be opened, but if you’re going to be in a
relationship, you have got to practice some self-control!

You, my friend, have crossed a line that is one of the most important parts
of being in a couple: you’ve invaded his privacy and if you tell him what
you found, you are also doomed to lose his trust. You may have a reason to
be angry, but so does he.

Before you do anything else stupid, calm down and take a moment to reflect.
Is anything missing from your relationship? What reason would he have to
seek female attention elsewhere? Six months is still relatively early in the
dating game, but you need not wait until there’s a problem. Now is the
perfect time to check in with him on how he feels about you, your
relationship, and your current living status. If everything really was going
so well, you should not have had the urge to snoop in the first place so
take this chance to offer up some thoughts and concerns of your own to open
those lines of communication.

If your man insists everything’s just fine with him, but you’re still not
quite convinced, throw on some white ankle socks to surprise him! See if
he’s pleasantly surprised or if he looks a little guilty.


No Comments

  1. Jen H.
    March 6, 2009

    If this is going on only 6 months into it, you should get out while you still can. If he works with her, he’s already spending as much/more time with her than he is with you, which means flirty-flirty all the time!

    Don’t even tell him you read it, he’ll just turn it around on you, when he is the one doing something wrong (it’s not like you broke into his account.) Just dump him.

    Unless of course, the line was “I just love it when my GIRLFRIEND wears white ankle socks.” If it wasn’t, he was definitely crossing the line.

  2. Anonymous
    March 21, 2009

    I agree with the previous comment. No one can tell you how to handle this situation because in the end you will do what you want to do. If you are having doubts on whether you should trust him or not, then there is probably a reason. He is crossing the line right now with the conversations he is having. If you don’t do something now, this will be one of those moments in your mind that when you reflect upon, you will wish you had taken as a sign.

    In my last relationship, my boyfriend came to me and told me that he was fooling around with people online. Right there I should have made the decision to leave. I didn’t and we stayed together for a couple of years. What it came down to was that he just wasn’t willing to do the simple things that people in relationships do for eachother, comprimise being one of them. I don’t think he cheated on me after that but what it came down to was that his selfish acts in the beginning continued in other forms for the rest of our relationship. You can only give so much to someon who isn’t willing to give that same effort and respect back to you.

    Take the sign.

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