Dear Kim Kardashian,

Dear Kim,
I am so sorry to hear that things didn’t work out for you and Kris. It was clear from the beginning that you were both madly in love and had the purest of intentions. You worked so hard, for so long, to make it work and despite your efforts, I’ve heard you’re moving on. I wish you and Kris nothing but the best.

Now, some gentle guidance around handling some delicate matters that lay ahead.

You and Kris need to return your wedding gifts, tout de suite, with handwritten notes thanking each recipient for their gift and for their understanding during this difficult time. You should send back gifts to your friends and family; Kris should send back items to his. And on the off-chance that you’ve actually unwrapped or even used a gift and it is not suitable to return to its sender, donate it to a charity.

Conventional etiquette suggests an engagement ring is a bride’s to keep, unless it is a heirloom in the groom’s family. From what I understand, your ring is not a heirloom of the Humphries family but I highly encourage you to give it back to Kris anyways. You’ve had it for such a short time, surely you can’t be sentimentally attached to it – I reckon that you’ve had the shoes on your feet for longer than you sported this ring. Moreover, its value could bring a small country out of debt and Kris shouldn’t continue to pay for it. The cost of your dignity comes in a higher price than the ring is worth.

Lastly, don’t put the badmouth on Kris and ask your friends and family to do the same. Chin up. Tight-lipped. Trash talking your ex is so common and it only throws gas on the tacky fire.

Sincerely,

Karen Cleveland

Questions, comments and conundrums are most welcome at www.twitter.com/schoolfinishing

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