Dear MJ 

I was dating this guy for a few months, and I really liked him. He dropped a bomb on me and ended it giving me the excuse that he didn’t want to hurt me but was unclear in his head and shouldn’t be with anybody right now. I was devastated. That was a year ago. He recently texted me at 2am wasted wanting to get together.

I went to his place. He told me everything that I wanted to hear. We had sex that night and in the morning again. I thought for sure things were going to pick up where we left off. He took me out for lunch then dropped me off at home. He wasn’t as open with his feelings as he was the night before and hasn’t wanted to see me since. I want to ask him if he really meant the things he said to me, or if they were just part of the act to get me in bed but I’m afraid of the answer.

What should I do?  

Signed,
Drunk text disappointed 

Dear disappointed, 

What should you do? You should delete this guy from your life immediately. He’s just going to keep hurting you otherwise. I’m not saying he’s a bad guy, but he’s confused and doesn’t know what he wants and that uncertainty generally means one person is destined to get hurt. In this case, it’ll inevitably be you.

Listen, I’m sure the guy cares about you. Clearly you still enter his head after a year of being apart because he still had your number in his phone and thought to call you but that doesn’t mean he’s going to finally commit and give you all the things you want. Despite promising them while drunk and looking to get laid…

You’d like some answers and it sounds to me that you are entitled to them. What is with this guy anyway? He dumps you a year ago then TEXTS out of the blue, gushes about his feelings, shags you and then disappears? The nerve! Who wouldn’t want an explanation after all that? I would. So call him up and ask him what the deal is. Don’t be afraid- what’s the worst that can happen? If he gives you the same “I’m not ready for anything” speech again so be it, you will carry on as you were before he came slurring back into your life. Chock it up to a fun night of ex-sex knowing that you tried AGAIN and that he was uncertain AGAIN and you deserve better than that… again!

Oh, and the next time Casanova texts wasted looking for sex, tell him to BEAT IT!

Yours in love,

MJ