Dear MJ,

I’ve been seeing a guy for 3 months. Recently we were out with a bunch of my friends and he went up to the bar to get us drinks. He was gone a really long time and when he came back and I asked where he was, he said there was huge lineup and even pretended to be pissed off about how long it took. A few days later I found out the real reason he took so long was that he was chatting up the female bartender and that they exchanged names and then he added her a friend on Facebook. I looked at his wall and saw that she even posted a few flirty messages. When I confronted him, he said it was no big deal and “that’s what bartenders do.” Am I stupid for being angry about this?

Signed,

Facebook Furious 

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Dear Furious, 

The last time I checked, the “thing bartenders do” is make drinks. NOT slide around trying to pick up dudes while their GIRLFRIEND is sitting a few feet away.

If it was ‘no big deal’, why did he bother concocting the big silly lie about the huge lineup and go so far as to pretending to be pissed off about the slow service?

What a jerrrk.

No, I don’t think you’re stupid for being angry over this. I think you’re quite like the rest of us, in fact.  

Let’s face it, everybody flirts, and most of the time it’s innocent enough. But to do it right under your nose was a pretty skuzzy move, if you ask me. And unfortunately, one that might speak to his character- or lack thereof.  

The way I see it, you have 2 choices here:

  1. You chock it up to him being a silly boy and forgive him
  2. You dust him because you can’t be bothered to deal with immature crap such as this

I wish I had a dollar for every time somebody told me they had busted their partner in a story involving Facebook. Someone should run a survey on how many relationships have ended as a result of that “social networking tool”. And speaking of tools, if you do decide to stay with your guy, please promise me you won’t end up in a dysfunctional pattern of espionage, repeatedly tearing through his profile for clues to validate any suspicions you may be having. If so, the suspicion alone means you have nothing more to look for as you already have the answer.  

Darlings, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again (and again): Don’t Date Bad Men. Life Is Too Short. 

Yours in never-ending love,

MJ