Finger Surprise

QUESTION: "Why do guys think it’s okay to stick their finger up a girl’s a-hole during fornication?"

Al Batrosse
We know it’s a bad move. What it means is that we fell short of ideas and are running a porno default pattern up the backfield.

Jimmy Zims Jr.
How many times have I done this: many
How many times have I done this without the subtle urging of my lady friend: none

Making use of a quote from Sex In The City, most guys are trysexuals, they’ll try anything sexual. Not like in the fake girl way, “Oh, let’s buy silk scarves and be so naughty!” Guys really don’t give a shit. If a girl wants a finger in the butt, that’s what she’s gonna get. Two fingers, well then you know it’s gonna be a good night and a sore morning. We will really do anything in bed, just please stop asking us to clean the goddamn kitchen.

Freddie Jupiter
We kinda, maybe, sorta are hoping you’re gonna reciprocate. No big deal. Whatever. Don’t make a big deal out of it. It just kinda feels good. It doesn’t mean I’m…er…gay. I once saw it in a porn. My buddies all do it to their girlfriends. Stop judging me, and just roll with it. Please?

John F. Manneddy
Two words: Pavlov’s Dog.

Remember your high school boyfriend who only wanted to “stick it in your butt, cmon, if you really love me you’ll do it!”? Well he’s grown up. He’s learnt. He’s been there and done that and he knows that no amount of begging is going to get him to the promised land.

However, a sustained butt sex strategy just may.

Maybe we stick a finger in just as you’re about to cum at first. Then in a week or two we do in the normal course of sex. Then maybe we do it while we’re just fooling around. Suddenly, if we’re not doing it you think something’s wrong. Oh, and maybe you’re starting to like it a tad. The idea slowly creeps into your mind, it might be ok, hmm, maybe I’d try it if I was drunk. A few weeks later, you’re actually drunk. Done.

Grown up high school boyfriend 1, You 0


  1. Anonymous
    May 5, 2009

    We watch too much porn and assume you’ll cum in five seconds with that old chestnut. Either we’re very inexperienced or have had a string of lovers too timid to tell us we suck.

  2. Anonymous
    May 19, 2009

    I’m a girl and I don’t understand the question. If you’re not willing, it won’t feel good! Get into it!

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