I’ve been seeing a guy for just over 3 months. We have major chemistry and I could totally see myself with him long term. (not that we discuss that stuff or anything) I haven’t said it to him but I’m upset that he didn’t do anything for me on Valentine’s Day. In fact, I didn’t hear from him for the entire day. We saw each other the night before and had great sex but he didn’t stay over and then I didn’t hear from him until I texted him the next day and he responded 4 hours later. I was really hurt and spent most of the day checking my phone and then crying on my best friend’s shoulder when I realized that not only was he not doing anything for me, but that he wasn’t even going to call. I don’t make a lot of money but I wanted to do something special for him so I bought a gift certificate for a couple’s massage and a few other little things and now I’m too embarrassed to give them to him. He’s acting like the day never even existed. What should I do?
Heart Burned by Cupid
Dear Heart Burned,
What should you do? You should dump this guy. Pronto. Not because he didn’t get you anything for Valentine’s Day but because he sounds like an insensitive prick and you don’t need somebody like that in your life.
For a day that’s meant to be all about LOVE, Valentine’s Day sure does seem to cause a lot of trouble in relationships. Every year, I’m either getting calls from my girlfriends who have been disappointed by their boyfriends or from my guy friends who are in the doghouse for not doing the right thing (or anything for that matter) for their girlfriends, or I’m fretting myself over some disappointment caused by having unrealistic expectations… As a result, many people (mostly men) resent Valentine’s Day- some even abhor it. But you’re not one of those people. You did what most of us girls do, you put a lot of thought and your hard-earned money into a romantic gesture for the man in your life hoping and assuming he’d put the same effort into planning something special for you. Unfortunately, he didn’t and so you are understandably sad and disappointed. Probably more-so because it actually puts the writing on the wall with regards to what his intentions towards you are- or in this case, aren’t.
Your guy may not be Rudolph Valentino, but he’s no idiot either. Everybody on the planet knows that February 14 is Valentine’s Day. As my friend Paul so eloquently put it: “guys don’t give a shit about Valentine’s Day.” He’s right, most guys don’t. But if a guy gives a shit about a girl then he’ll swallow it, just for the day and acknowledge her existence- in his own special way. Your guy didn’t even CALL you. And he didn’t call the next day either. But at least he replied to your text, right? FOUR HOURS LATER. I’m sorry to rub it in but somebody needs to my friend, because you’re just not seeing the situation clearly. It sounds to me as though you’re confusing great sex for great love and chemistry for commitment. It’s okay, we’ve all done it. Including me. This is why I can speak from experience and say with absolute certainty that this guy is not worth any more of your time. And he’s certainly not worth your tears.
Do yourself a favour, gather up your pride and delete the dipshit’s number immediately. Then grab your best friend and treat her to a day of relaxation at the spa. Sounds like you’ll need her shoulder to cry on for a little while longer and what better way to thank her for putting up with your sniveling than with a massage?
With any luck, by this time next year you’ll be so happy with a Brand-New-Cares-About-You boyfriend that you won’t even remember the sad moment in your dating history that was VDay 2009.
Here’s to February 14, 2010!
Yours in ever forever love,