Like every annual occasion that rolls around, Valentines Day makes you stop and think. Where was I this time last year? Am I better off today? When will this snow melt so I can wear flats again? 

The truth is, I love Valentine’s Day- even as a single lady. I can appreciate looking back on the time an ex transformed his bedroom into a picnic experience and I relish the impending girl’s night. You don’t have to love Valentines Day. You can go about your business and pretend it doesn’t exist.  But that reminds me of how some buildings’ elevators skip the 13th floor. Maybe no one wants to live on unlucky 13 but you know what, people? It exists! 

Love it or hate it, February 14th happens and these days, that date means something. So, let’s live in reality and conquer the day head-on! From my brain to yours, here’s a how-to on standing up to V-Day as a single lady.

  1. Gather The Troops – There is strength in numbers! If Valentine’s Day is getting you down, surround yourself with people who will raise you up.  Not only will the presence of others keep you laughing, but it will keep you focused on the marvelous things in your life as opposed to whatever is “missing.” Lady, you’ve got so much good going on. Valentine’s Day doesn’t have to be about celebrating loverconnections- BFF’s can be Valentines too! At the same time, if you or anyone needs to spontaneously combust into tears, guess who’s there? Friends. I hear that’s what they are for! Everyone wins with a security blanket on standby.
  2. Go Out – Ok, now that the crew is in place (or you’re alone but you have your party pants on), let’s go do something! There are tons of Valentine’s Day parties happening in the city and at the same time,  there are many that are completely unrelated (See: SheDoesTheCity Hit List). Choose your own adventure. Just the act of going out is a great way to shake the sweats, escape your four walls and open your eyes to life’s possibilities. Also, guess who is going out on Valentine’s Day? Probably not mushy cushy couples or the womanizers in relationships, right? Those people are locked down so, take advantage! Get out there and meet the fun people who are laughing at V-Day in the face.
  3. Stay In – But what’s wrong with a little indoor fun? It’s cold outside, yo. Staying in can be the best if you choose to make it the best. You’re not hiding from Valentine’s Day; you’re embracing it in your home! In your own way, of course. Stockpile the snack of your choice, dust off your “Josie and The PussyCats” VHS and you have yourself a party- not a pity party. It’s easy to go there when the eyes aren’t on you and it is totally cool to let your emotions free. But try not to cave in on yourself for not having a significant other on this specific day. It’s not worth it. You are worth it. As good as it is to get out there, with the right entertainment; you can create yourself a V-Day that is equally amusing and relaxing. Sometimes the pre-party really is the evening’s highlight and lucky you are making it the wholenight!
  4. Treat Yourself – Who says you need a man to buy you chocolate or flowers? I buy chocolate for myself on the reg. and no one can judge me except my local grocery store. So, before you go all Gretchen Weiners about not getting a CandyCaneGram, why don’t you skip the disappointment, take control and treat yourself? Even if you’re not into all of the above, even if you’re so busy with life that you can’t drop everything to get festive with a group- it’s ok! Don’t be self-conscious or stress about it. If you want or need to go at this one alone, that’s cool. You can still show yourself some love! Cut your favourite sandwich into a smiley face, write a love letter, get a triple shot in that latte, whatever little thing that will put a spring in your step. You go, Glen Coco.

Ok, so 1-4? Contradictory- I’m calling myself out on this one. How does one get the group together, go out, stay in, and treat themselves but oh, it’s ok if you don’t rally the troops? Impossible. The secret is out: there’s not one right way to spend the Valentine’s Day as a single lady. Standing up to Valentines Day just means that you’re not letting it get to you. Why should it? Take the day to zero in on all of the crazy, amazing things on your horizon instead of longing for what could be or could have been. You can treat it as a normal day, host a hate-on-guys night or go on a date with a bestie. Lay it on me- whose plans are the cutest? But remember, it doesn’t matter what’s on the agenda as long as you are being kind to yourself on this day that can stir up all kinds of emotions. Love is in the air so come Thursday, let’s feel it!