MMVA Party!!

I think Perez and I had matching lipstick.

Melanie C sparkling in Canadian designer Nada Yousif

Whitney, from the Hills, has the longest legs in the world.

Flo Rida knows how to flex and pose his bulging tattoo for maximum effect

The tattoos were shouting out to get their pics taken

It looked like a flying purple people eater to me but it was actually Robyn Sprott, Olivia Chow and Jack Layton

Dan Levy – I want you to teach me smirk and eyebrow tilt lessons

SUM 41 Steve-O showing support for NKOTB, Robyn pulling her lip.

Why aren’t they in Girlicious?

Woah – crazy fire skull suit.

Bedouin Soundclash looking completely chill

Stunning VJ Sarah Taylor – read our interview with Sarah www.shedoesthecity.com/arts

Stefan Brogren (Snake from Degrassi) and beautiful Ainsley Kerr

Canada’s very own Keira Knightley, meet Georgina Reilly actor in new Bruce McDonald film PONTYPOOL

Hold up – who are you? Tattoo Rock Parlour chair dancer.

Take that Girlicious! Canadian chicks have bums too!

Actress Melissa Jane Shaw having a blast. We had a lot of fun.

We pulled up to Much headquarters Sunday night, and our hair was ruined by the rain within thirty seconds. Teens were mulling around with mud on themselves in bare feet; it was like Woodstock ’94 and no one was willing to miss the New Kids On The Block, except for me when they kept on being fickle about their appearance time in the press room – pack of divas.

Pushing through the swarms of male photographers, stilettos can come in handy when you are an amateur trying to get height over the paparazzi and their thousand dollar cameras. At first, I was somewhat shy but then after a while had no problem yelling out “WHITNEY – look at me gorgeous – that’s right, you look hot!!”, “OVER HERE MEL – RIGHT HERE RIGHT HERE! That’s good – WORK IT WORK IT!” Who am I? I felt akin to a sleazy man trying to lure someone aggressively to my sex pad.  

The first famous person who I caught wind of was Perez Hilton, and everyone was happy to see that he had lost weight.  He confessed that upon landing in Toronto he was already hooked up with a trainer – as when he isn’t Photoshopping a cock into Lindsay’s mouth, he’s working on his abs.

Following the Queen of Hollywood’s most hated website, was A-lister Melanie C who proudly proclaimed she was wearing Canadian designer, Nada Yousif. Good on ya and I’ll give you five extra points for those most excellent gold pumps.

Gold pumps or not, the award for best legs in the universe definitely goes to my favourite ex-Teen Vogue intern, and The Hills celeb – Whitney Port. She looked absolutely stunning, and when I took her pic she asked:

“What’s the name of your website?”

“Shedoesthecity.com“

“Shedoesthecity.com…hot name. I’ll check it out.”

This was a proud moment for me. Too bad I look like her leathered Aunt in the photo.

Ex Teen Vogue Intern and Ex Much Music Intern = BFF

I would be making it up if I told you how much I loved the performances, for I was spinning in the interior nucleus of the event getting into traffic jams alongside a somewhat flustered looking Jack Layton. BUSY, it seemed as though the hallways were turning into giant kinky games of twister, as light bounced off of busty girls’ chests – packed into party dresses, drinks spilled and celebs had momentary looks of panic being pressed into tight spaces with the common people.

Sean Kingston and SDTC writer, Robyn Sprott

It seemed as though we got squished next to Sean Kingston numerous times. He was a sweetie pie who enjoyed making gang signs in photos. Although everyone was anxiously awaiting Rihanna, I was all about Girlicious. Slightly pathetic? Perhaps, but after watching those girls catfight it out and dance like they are viciously trying to ride an untamed horse, I was exceptionally curious to see them in their newfound fame glory.

Groomed for success!

Dressed like Barbie dolls circa 1986, and posing like Bratz – they appeared as though their days are spent doing burpees (the calisthanic excersice) not writing songs. Their bodies were tight and tanned, almost orange like. The hot Hilary Duff one, or Nichole, did the best job putting on the sex pout and going wild with the cameras. As much as I enjoyed staring at their highly defined cleavage and body clawing suspenders, I couldn’t help think about all the nine year olds enamoured with this crew of girls, who likely equally receive as much attention in the mechanic shop washroom as they do in the school lip synch contest. Best disguised soft porn ever?

I left the press room for a while to check out the bar and balcony. It’s all a big game– drink, mingle, scout, network, spot, point, click, check wine lips, throw biz cards out – and in the final analysis everyone in this inner sphere is trying to make a buck, whether directly or not.

My friend Lala, Sam Roberts and me.

Feeling the need to hang with someone down to earth – I spotted Sam Roberts. I recall many nights in Montreal parked in Sam’s apartment watching Hockey Night in Canada– or at least him and the guys were, I’d be ingesting rum and coke faster than Davey “Lardass” Hogan ate blueberry pies in Stand By Me. At that point, oh about eight years ago – Sam was a friend in a band that we’d go show support for but the jump to fame was noticeable when suddenly line ups curled around The Horseshoe’s exterior in 2002. A year later they were gracing the stage along with The Rolling Stones for that exceptionally unique SARS Benefit concert. It’s still debatable as to whether that was an enormous suckage of taxpayers money.

After some quick catch up and minor beer spills there was a frantic smattering of conversations – WHERE TO GO NEXT? WHERE, WHERE, WHERE???? It’s like we all turned into untamed dogs in a park.

The Hills gang, Whitney and Brody, could hardly get through the crowds at the official Much Music after party at Ultra; Akon and Kardinal Offishall hosted the DANGEROUS MMVA AFTER PARTY at CiRCA while Girlicious and Jabbawockeez got randy at Republic. The ever famous Revolver Film party was at the swank Rosewater Supper Club, Perez Hilton hosted a smutty goss down at Revival, and Belly’s crew got twisted at Tryst. We opted for the 235 Films party at Tattoo Rock Parlour – mostly to avoid irritating line ups and be in close proximity to home. Perhaps the stars were slim but the music was fabulous and the crowd was ecstatic. It felt like NYE 1999, of course minus the fear of complete technological melt down. There were some Girlicious doppelgangers taking over the stage putting on quite the risqué show, if I opened just one eye, from certain angles, you’d have thought we were at For Your Eyes Only.

I’m not sure if it was the girls who warmed the stage, the street mob scene, the New Kids On The Block back for round two – but people at Tattoo were going c-r-a-z-y. Party like a rock star? Party with a rock star? F*ck that, I AM THE ROCK STAR! Jumping on couches, crowds of lap dance festive orgies, big smiles, and barely there dresses. People racked up their credit cards with $$$ bottle service and I think everyone forgot that – oh yeah, tomorrow’s Monday.

The ultimate pop culture blitz.

Awwwwwwwww sh*t – Much Music you sure make a good party.